How to Be a Person: Being Sick

 

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Confession: I’m a huge germ-phobe. I get irrationally angry at people who come to class with more than a cold. Combine that with the fact that February is a veritable hellscape of pathogens just waiting to infect unsuspecting students, and you’ll find me ready to Clorox wipe nearly every surface into oblivion.

That said, this influx of disease is avoidable (or at least reducible) if we would all learn to be reasonable about it. Here’s how:

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How to Be a Person: Buying Holiday Gifts For Family

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Finals aren’t the only stressful thing approaching us all too quickly. The holidays are coming right up, which means that you’ll soon need to whip out a few dollars and buy gifts for your family and friends. You probably can’t get away with giving your dad a coloring book page anymore, and you definitely can’t be coloring outside the lines. It can be hard to get gifts for family- how much money should you spend? Why are cards so expensive? How did you manage to tie yourself to the present with the wrapping bow?- but we here at The Thrill are prepared to help you. Below are a few tips to get you through this troublesome activity. Continue reading

How to Be a Person: Writing Faculty Evaluation Letters

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A typical request for student letters.

We’ve all been there–sending overly polite, eager emails to professors, asking for countless letters of recommendation. By some miracle, professors almost always accept the request. Occupied with studying, work, and friends, we rarely remember to thank our professors for their efforts. However, requests for faculty evaluation letters give us a chance to return the favor. Here’s a few tips for writing the evaluations:

  • Do it. While these requests often come during busy times of the year, they also come with a deadline far in the future. Over the course of one month or more, you’ll likely have ten minutes to devote to the task. So pause Gilmore Girls for a hot sec, and write the damn letter. Still not convinced? Let’s see if I can be more persuasive.  Continue reading

How to Be a Person: Getting into the Classes You Want

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The sky is darkening. Rain drops that may soon turn into snow drops are pouring down on us from the sky and second semester registration time is upon us. While some may see this as a cause of stress and/or befuddlement, I see this as a time of immense excitement. It’s like that time in middle school right before school started when your parents took you to Staples and you got to run through every aisle grabbing color coded folders and pens and stickers… the pure magic of possibility. We can have all of that magical possibility once again! It is all within our reach. But wait, you unfortunately ended up in an 8:10 lecture style class on the ins and outs of accounting. Everything is ruined now. Don’t let this happen to you! You can absolutely get into all of the classes that you want*, just follow these simple steps. Continue reading

How to Be a Person: Farting During Your Seminar

"A Dream Deferred" by Gracie Potter. (via dudeiwantthat.com)

“A Dream Deferred” by Gracie Potter. (via dudeiwantthat.com)

Although editor emeritus Emma Specter ’15 is the undeniable fart queen of The Thrill (just look at her staff photo), I think I’ve proven at least once that I know a thing or two about embarrassing butt noises. I’ve felt those tummy rumblies as my Peirce dinner uncomfortably works its way through my digestive tract during my God-knows-how-long seminar. I’ve tried to ignore the slight growl that escapes from my lower pelvis every time I unsuccessfully divert a forthcoming fart from my general cheek area. What I’m trying to say is, I’m an everyman’s man. I know what it’s like to live in fear. And I’m here to help my fellow men and women escape from the ensnarement of social convention. I’m going to teach you how to fart in public. After you read this, not only will you fart at will; you will FART WITH CONFIDENCE. If that doesn’t get you in a tizzy, I don’t know what will.

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