Having some trouble with the dating scene? Can’t seem to buckle down that dapper chap you’ve been chasing after? Fear not. The Thrill has been conducting research*. Here are some tried and true ways to terrify a boy in only ten days (if it takes that long).

Day 1. Find Him. Under a rock. Behind Mather. In a gender neutral bathroom. In your bed. Whatever. Just find him. Then, stalk him like a shelf.

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