They told me when I was a freshman that the sophomore-senior relationship was something to look forward to.
I didn’t believe them. “But these juniors… they ain’t shit to me!”, I naively protested, internally, because that’s a rude thing to say out loud.
Alas… sweet, simple, lil’-ol’-dumb-ol’-stinky-ol’ me. Looking back now, a year later, it’s a cruel how wrong I have proven to be. I’m gonna miss so many of you so much – you guys are great! Heck, you guys are shit to me!
Therefore, it is with heavy heart and on bended knee that I offer this simple tribute to you, the graduating class of Kenyon College – you, who have taught me so much, who have welcomed me into your homes and who have even, on occasion, into the NCA’s gazebo (but that was really just a one time thing, as you so explicitly stated. It’s cool! I understand. Everyday can’t be Underclassmen Gazebo Open-Season Day. That would be crazy. Right? That would be crazy, Cath).
So here it is, coming at you live from the deepest recesses of my soul/from inside my parked Ford Escape Hybrid with the windows fully rolled up. Warning: this one was incredibly hard to make, so it’s probably gonna be incredibly hard to listen to.