First Years React: Shock Your Mom

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“OH…I NEED to go to that!”

Hey look! Our first year writers went to Shock Your Mom and behaved like the perfect angels they are. We asked them about it, but we don’t know why, considering they were all fully clothed and 100% sober the whole night. We at The Thrill have an extreme vetting process for hiring out new writers. We expect nothing less than perfection.

Saturday night started off as any good night should: with an unhealthy dose of RuPaul’s Drag Race and Lady Gaga music videos. This is honestly how I spend most of my nights, but Saturday had some extra flavor thanks to a peach energy drink that tasted like rat poison around 10 p.m.. With the energy drink (or rat poison, who really knows) and copious amounts of glitter, I was able to rally and head south for what I expected to be the highlight of my Freshman year: Shock Your Mom. Alas, it t’was not to be. I love being surrounded by half-naked, sweaty bodies as much as the next millennial, and I think I would have had a better experience had I not been completely sober and expecting Project X levels of insanity (tbh I’ve never seen that movie so I hope the reference works). Final Conclusion: I should have stayed home and watched Gremlins 2 while playing Ticket to Ride. Or I should have used more glitter. -Colleen Kemp

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