The Monday Catchup


You need to stop forming a hoard. I cannot navitage Middle Path when you clot up the main artery of this campus. For example, last evening I was walking home from my duty round because I’m a CA who signed up to be RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS, and a huge mass of you come barraling towards me with the force of an impending colon blowout. I’m forced to jaywalk and proceed to have a 10 minute conversation with the sheriff about my IRRESPONSIBILITY while you stumble past, pee behind a pine tree, and defile the good name of The Kenyon Thrill by placing us in the same sentence as Buzzfeed. Go figure out what Disney princess you are based on your kink. I’ll be here waiting. Don’t even tell me how your weekend was.

“My weekend was bad, because I was forced to jaywalk.”

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