When you’re job hunting, you’re supposed to put your best foot forward. To get on the grind you’ve got to sell yourself. Capitalism wants you to dress it up and make it look sexy. Employers want you to give ’em the lowdown in a condensed twelve by eight and a half piece of paper. For those of you looking for direction on how to spruce up those resumes, here’s how not to do it:
In October you were really proud of yourself because you typed the word “internship” into your search bar*. In January you heard someone mention “summer” and you laughed at them as you pulled on your third layer of pants and trudged out into the sleet and snow and slush. Then it was February, March, and April and now wassup everybody it’s almost May and you don’t have a job! Or you do and you’re way better at adulthood than I am. Maybe you’re volunteering abroad or working at a place with desks and filing cabinets. And if that’s you, great, but also shut up right now I’m not talking to you.
I am going to assume that you’re just like me in the liberal-arts-school-trenches and we are all here and accepting our fate as bookstore clerks and baristas. You’ll inevitably get the question from your aunt, friend from high school, or the cashier at market. But have no fear, there are ways for us mere mortals to make our lives sound way cooler. Here are a few things to make your summer actually worthwhile, sort of.
1. Knit something. This is admittedly a cheap shot, but winter is closer than you think (I’m sorry) so get crackin. While all your friends will have stories about their wild summers, you’ll be coming back with a whole lotta stitched wool, so basically take THAT.
In this last stretch before spring break, Kenyon students seem busier than ever, whether its Comps, midterms, or applications for various summer programs. Despite the daily snow flurries and sub-zero temperatures, this time in the semester has Kenyon students looking ahead to the warmer months and wondering what they will be doing in that time off (unless they’re seniors, in which case they’re looking ahead to the next several years!). There are many options available to us as Kenyon students, depending on our budgets and our geographical location. We can work, travel, intern, or sit home and watch Netflix for three months. But at the end of the day, most of us will either find jobs or internships. Continue reading
The Lead Story: As the Obama administration hands out more financial sanctions meant to combat Russia’s influence-seeking behavior in Ukraine, The New York Times asks: but what if Vladimir Putin is secretly super-rich? The Times (and apparently some folks at the Treasury) seem to think Putin could be worth up to $70 billion, making him the wealthiest head of state ever. I wonder how the Queen feels about all of this.
After The Jump: New job numbers, a Holocaust acknowledgement, A Pope canonizes two of his predecessors, South Korea’s PM resigns, the US waves bye to the death penalty, and the latest from the NBA Clippers (owner) controversy.
Why go to the CDO when you have a bonafide expert on getting hired right here at the Thrill? I’ve been stupid employed for the past, like, five summers. I mean, I guess Scott Layson and his crew might be able to help you, but come on, who wants to walk all the way to Gund Commons to get career advice?*
Have a sick Facebook page: If you want to get hired, make sure your employers know what a baller you are. Start by going to your Facebook settings and making your profile open to the public. Now upload photos of you doing some cool sh*t. Ever shotgun a beer on South Quad? Profile picture! Nobody is going to hire someone who can’t be a boss inside and outside of the office. Make sure it’s Facebook too and not LinkedIn; as I learned from TV, that website screams cellphone holsters.