If Resumes Were Honest

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When you’re job hunting, you’re supposed to put your best foot forward. To get on the grind you’ve got to sell yourself. Capitalism wants you to dress it up and make it look sexy. Employers want you to give ’em the lowdown in a condensed twelve by eight and a half piece of paper. For those of you looking for direction on how to spruce up those resumes, here’s how not to do it:

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10 o’clock list: Ways to Make Your Summer Kind of Less Lame

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this could be you kind of

In October you were really proud of yourself because you typed the word “internship” into your search bar*. In January you heard someone mention “summer” and you laughed at them as you pulled on your third layer of pants and trudged out into the sleet and snow and slush. Then it was February, March, and April and now wassup everybody it’s almost May and you don’t have a job! Or you do and you’re way better at adulthood than I am. Maybe you’re volunteering abroad or working at a place with desks and filing cabinets. And if that’s you, great, but also shut up right now I’m not talking to you.

I am going to assume that you’re just like me in the liberal-arts-school-trenches and we are all here and accepting our fate as bookstore clerks and baristas. You’ll inevitably get the question from your aunt, friend from high school, or the cashier at market. But have no fear, there are ways for us mere mortals to make our lives sound way cooler. Here are a few things to make your summer actually worthwhile, sort of.

1. Knit something. This is admittedly a cheap shot, but winter is closer than you think (I’m sorry) so get crackin. While all your friends will have stories about their wild summers, you’ll be coming back with a whole lotta stitched wool, so basically take THAT.

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Summer Internships vs. Jobs

This could be you!

 

In this last stretch before spring break, Kenyon students seem busier than ever, whether its Comps, midterms, or applications for various summer programs. Despite the daily snow flurries and sub-zero temperatures, this time in the semester has Kenyon students looking ahead to the warmer months and wondering what they will be doing in that time off (unless they’re seniors, in which case they’re looking ahead to the next several years!). There are many options available to us as Kenyon students, depending on our budgets and our geographical location. We can work, travel, intern, or sit home and watch Netflix for three months. But at the end of the day, most of us will either find jobs or internships. Continue reading

The Monday Catchup

Vladimir PutinGood morning! Here’s what you missed over the weekend:

The Lead Story: As the Obama administration hands out more financial sanctions meant to combat Russia’s influence-seeking behavior in Ukraine, The New York Times asks: but what if Vladimir Putin is secretly super-rich? The Times (and apparently some folks at the Treasury) seem to think Putin could be worth up to $70 billion, making him the wealthiest head of state ever. I wonder how the Queen feels about all of this.

After The Jump: New job numbers, a Holocaust acknowledgement, A Pope canonizes two of his predecessors, South Korea’s PM resigns, the US waves bye to the death penalty, and the latest from the NBA Clippers (owner) controversy.

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How to Get Employed

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Why go to the CDO when you have a bonafide expert on getting hired right here at the Thrill? I’ve been stupid employed for the past, like, five summers. I mean, I guess Scott Layson and his crew might be able to help you, but come on, who wants to walk all the way to Gund Commons to get career advice?*

Have a sick Facebook page: If you want to get hired, make sure your employers know what a baller you are. Start by going to your Facebook settings and making your profile open to the public. Now upload photos of you doing some cool sh*t. Ever shotgun a beer on South Quad? Profile picture! Nobody is going to hire someone who can’t be a boss inside and outside of the office. Make sure it’s Facebook too and not LinkedIn; as I learned from TV, that website screams cellphone holsters.

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10 o’clock list: Lifestyles the Media has Tricked Me Into Thinking I Can Have

I think about graduation in the same way I think about death and by that I mean I don’t. It’s there but it’s far away and we’ll deal with it when it gets here. Popular culture has crafted a lot of fantasies in our heads about what happens to us once we graduate. Based on the unrealistic expectations set by the media, my five-year plan involves housewares from Anthropologie and dresses from Urban Outfitters rather than what it will actually be: the PB Teen bean bag chair from my childhood bedroom and cups that I stole from Peirce. Here are the top five job/lifestyle fantasies the media spoon-feeds you every weeknight at nine:

  1. Sex and the City — If there’s one job that’s guaranteed to get you an apartment, fuel copious clubbing and fund your shoe fetish, it’s freelance writing in Manhattan.  Continue reading

How to Maybe Succeed in Your Job Hunt with Definitely Trying

We asked for your job search stories, and you delivered. At this time of year, when everyone is desperately seeking summer work, soothe yourself with advice from of a Class of 2012 alumna whose job hunt has been a long and winding road. If you’ve got tales of employment woe, advice or anecdotes you’d like to see on The Thrill, hit a blog up via Gmail at thekenyonthrill@gmail.com.

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" understands our plight.

“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” understands our plight.

Between Thanksgiving break of senior year and mid-September after graduation, I submitted 60 job applications, had 8 interviews, got 14 outright rejections and countless ignored emails, completed 2 internships… and received one job offer, which I accepted with as much exhilaration and relief as a newly-adopted pound puppy. My boss is fantastic and I enjoy what I do, but my position is only temporary thus far, meaning that I don’t yet have health benefits or sick leave or an office phone or even a swipe card to the building. But in this climate, I don’t complain about that too often. Continue reading