Guess who’s back, pitches! It’s me, the healthiest girl in the world, here to tell you why I am not sick and therefore better than you in every way. I know that you were looking for some compassion and maybe the notes for the class you missed, but all I have for you is a list of things that kept me from being where you are right now, with one foot in the grave and one foot on some middle path pebbles.
It happened. The Kenyon Krud is all around us. The library is now a symphony of throaty coughs and exhausted sniffles. No, your crush across the classroom isn’t blushing in your direction…her cheeks are simply red from fever. The market is out of cold medication and I can’t remember what it feels like to fall asleep not blanketed in a haze of NyQuil. If you are like me and become the world’s biggest baby when you are sick (apologies to all my housemates), then you don’t want to leave your apartment/dorm room until the storm is gone and you no longer need a box of tissues to make it through the day. Here’s the good news, you don’t have to! Here are some ways to succeed without ever leaving the front door. Continue reading
Last year, when I was but a wee second-semester first year, I wrote a 10 o’clock list about all the very important lessons I’d learned over the course of the preceding seven months. I stand by that list, but now — as a newly minted Kenyon “grown-up” with two full hours of sophomore year behind me — I feel it’s time to add a few words of semi-wisdom that eluded me last spring. But fear not, first years! Pretty much every single upperclassman will likely be making these mistakes right alongside you. Because none of us are real adults.
- Don’t get partied out — I know the first few weeks of the year are a beautiful, dizzying whirlwind of house music and highlighter-streaked white T-shirts and warm beer, but save some energy for parties to come. Deb Ball awaits, and way off in the distance lies a magical event called Sendoff — which, if you get too jaded too early, you might mistakenly opt to spend in bed with a 4 p.m. hangover and a Netflix Instant Queue full of ‘90s-era rom-coms because “what am I going to miss, anyway?” Everything. Continue reading