Moxie: A Kenyon Tail

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THIS LITTLE MAN

He is the little shadow-kitty parked directly in front of your feet as you walk to Peirce. He is the dirty boy tumbling in the gutters. He is the splash of ebony against a pile of leaves, loafing majestically in the sun. Most importantly, he is Moxie. Everyone loves him and he knows it. He often tricks folks into thinking he is a lost little lamb wandering in the woods. Don’t be fooled. He is smarter than you and he knows exactly what he is doing. Here’s a collection of his adventures.

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Kenyon Pets: Colin the Betta Fish

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Colin is a red and purple lil’ betta dude that I purchased at Mount Vernon’s own “We lov pets” as a consolation when my mother strongly advised against me buying a rabbit on Craigslist. She also shot down my idea to adopt a cat or even just steal Moxie off the streets. Among the many shelves of tiny cups of fishies, Colin immediately spoke to me with his shiny fins and feisty attitude. I got him a tank, gravel, a weird boot to hide in, and a fake plant. What can I say? I like to spoil my son. Since bringing this beast home with me, I’ve discovered that he’s a total freak.

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Kenyon Pets: Noodles Yussman

Kenyon Pets: Noodles Yussman

Hello, Kenyon! Did you know that I have a housemate with four legs? This is Noodles, the sweet fuzzy child of Hayley Yussman ’18. I love Hayley but also I love Noodles. Look at her. She is perfect. She has so much to say and she is so, so smart!!! It is time to meet her. Are you ready? Please say “hello” to the good, good goblin kitty of NCA 20A.

 

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Kenyon Pets: Pterodactyl the Laser-Chasing Betta Fish

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he sees u

This is Pterodactyl. He is a betta fish of an unknown age belonging to Jen Cabiya ’18. As you can see, he is red. He is also very cool. He lives in a ten-gallon tank complete with an aerator, some nice blue rocks, a plastic diver’s helmet (for hiding), a sign that says “BEWARE SHARKS! NO SWIMMING” (to showcase his great sense of humor), and some mini roman pillars (because he’s a classy, well-learned lil’ dude). Of course, there’s more to this little aquatic demon than what meets the eye. Be prepared to meet the most talented fish to ever attend this fine liberal arts institution. Take it away, Pterodactyl!

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Kenyon Pets: My Guinea Pigs !!!!

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These are my kids. They are better than your kids do your kids shriek in the morn I didn’t think so

Hello, Kenyon. Did you know I have dogs? Well, I do. I (Caitlin March ’19) have two of them. Their names are Polka and Dot. Polka is that small brown one that looks like an angry potato and Dot is that chubby white one with her little baby hand extended into the light as if she’s about to reach for your very soul. They came into my life over the summer and now they are here. This is their story.

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Kenyon Pets: Gracie the Yellow Lab

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Look at this angel !

People of Kenyon, it is my absolute pleasure to introduce your dog-loving souls to the most perfect child to ever walk the Earth. This, my good friends, is Gracie Klein, the happiest, wiggliest, slobberiest yellow lab to ever honor us with her presence.

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Kenyon Pets: Caples Kittens

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Holy Fucking Shit! ~via Jen Cabiya (thanks, roomie !!!)

 

Holy moly! Look at these lil critters. These, my good pals, are the infamous Caples Kittens! I’m sure you’ve heard of them and/or seen them already, and if you haven’t, I am not certain where you have been, but it must not have been a good time because clearly there were no Caples kittens. Please peruse this catalog of their lives so far. There will be information on their backstories, personalities, and theories about their hopes/dreams. They are the best, and they truly deserve all of your love.

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