Shared Experiences Every Kenyon Student Had Before Kenyon

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Kenyon is a small place and a strange place. It takes a certain type of person to willingly give up four years of their life, their youth, their energy, their innocent, happy glow, to the rough-n-tumble fields of rural central Ohio. Partly because of how insular our community is, we all form a collective hive-mind/groupthink where everyone graduates somehow looking like this: Continue reading

Kenyon Mad Libs: A Short Biography of Phil Chase

Kenyon Mad Libs: A Short Biography of Phil Chase

Heyo! It’s staff baby Tyler “Mayonnaise on the Side” Raso ’19 here, bringing you a Kenyon College Mad Lib!

What is a Mad Lib?

A) “A phrasal template word game where one player prompts others for a list of words to substitute for blanks in a story” (Wikipedia) (((that’s an MLA citation)))

B) My Sad Childhood

C) Not the sequel to Mad Max which catalogs the dystopic adventures of Max’s long-estranged twin sister, Lib

D) All of the above Continue reading

The Kenyon Thrill Presents: Kenyon Kandids

The Kenyon Thrill Presents: Kenyon Kandids

Hey, you! Yeah, you! Have you ever wanted to have #kandid pics of you and your pals featured on a Kenyon-themed news blog? Well, you’re in luck because The Thrill has just started a new segment called Kenyon Kandids! Each week, we’ll kollect a bunch of kandids, post them on our website, and share them with the kommunity! But here’s the katch: your photo will be accompanied by a group of generic, fake photos we pulled from various Kenyon Bookstore products. It’s up to the rest of the kampus to guess which photo is the real #KenyonKandid! Let’s see if YOU’RE up to the challenge!

Continue reading

Kenyon Gets Sexy

co-written with Annie Blackman

Kenyon’s back in full swing, the weather is still beautiful, and something is in the air. We’re all young and stressed and hormonal. Whether or not you’ve fallen victim to the Fall of Heartbreaks, you never know if or when you might have the ol’ shang-a-lang coming your way. And what better way to show your school spirit and impress your partner than by trying out some new ideas you found on a blog linked from your Facebook news feed?

Here’s some Kenyon originals.

  • The Bushnell Double– Or for the more adventurous, the Bushnell Triple.
  • The B-Fuck– The BFEC is a lot like sex. It’s dirty, beautiful, easy to get lost in, and takes several hours to get through. Don’t make your roommate get out! Treat your partner to a hike they’ll never forget, and get a good workout going.
  • Leonard’s Back Door– Much nicer than you’d think.

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  • Market Dog– Come by after summer hours. It’s cheap, good for a break between study sessions, and surprisingly tasty.
  • Package Notification– “The bookstore might hold packages for three days, but you can hold mine as long as you like.” Nothing is more exciting and intimate than sending this spicy email out to your partner two to three days before you’d like to shang the lang.

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  • The CDO– Great for getting fucked in the future. Plus, unhelpful tips to please your partner.
  • Church Basement– I just had a friend who was really insistent on including this one. You really don’t have to do it but, he really wanted me to put it in this article. So. Um. You really don’t have to do it.

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Which Kenyon Building Are You?

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Hello, everyone it is I, the Quiz Goblin! I’ve made a quiz for any and all of us who have ever asked the question, “If I was a structure on this campus, what structure would I be, and why?” And haven’t we all been there?

https://www.playbuzz.com/chrisr40/what-kenyon-building-are-you