Romantic Dorm Dinner: The Kokosing


Hello, young lovers. Has the appeal of the VI worn thin? Do the fluorescent lights of dormitories dull your wit and diminish your libido? Have no fear. No fear whatsoever. There Is No Reason To Be Afraid. The air is thick with leaves and the autumnal musk of gourds, and apple nog flows thick from every tree orifice. Got a cutie to eat “””food””” with? Of course you do. Celebrate autumn with your SO by skittering outside the clammy sanctuary of your room and following these simple steps.

  1. Prepare the food. It is time to feast, and we are hungry. If you’re an organic food nut like me (I only eat local grubs and tubers), now is the time to lay your own eggs. Remember to drink a lot of water and be sure not to clench too hard. If your flesh pouches are too weak to carry your egg bounty, a Peirce cup works too.

    eggs are cute

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Weekend Drink: The Ty Segall


The Ty Segall is a special drink, based on our old classic Seagull Wine, and inspired by last night’s crazy times at the Horn. If you didn’t go to the Horn and were instead lying in bed watching Girls and eating Stacy’s chips and leftover apple pie, we will forgive you, because that’s what we were doing too. To bring these splendid times back for Saturday night, dive into this drink to ramp up your weekend.

  • 1 Part Kokosing river water.
  • 1 Part Gin (because what is better than Gin? Nothing).
  • 5 Parts chocolate kisses, sitting in the bottom of the glass.

Note: you should melt the chocolate in advance to create a smooth flavor across your tongue.