Advice for Kenyon Kids: Just Try Being Normal

Before you come at me, I already know– it’s not original to clown on liberal arts kids. But if going to school in Gambier has taught me anything, it’s that Kenyon breeds a unique kind of weird. I can’t help but reflect on how this strangeness has impacted my peers and I, for better or for worse. In the hopes of eliminating the “worse,” I have become an advice blogger for the day and crafted a fool-proof list of ways to just be normal. So listen up, fools.

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Things I Put in my Zoom Call Background in Hopes That the Baddies Will Notice

WARNING: unprecedented amount of Phoebe Bridgers-related decor to come. No seriously. More than you think.

I learned a long time ago that, despite my many technological skills (I tweet at least once an hour for validation), I don’t know how to change a zoom background. I know you guys think you’re so funny with your little green screens, but I have no idea how to do it. So I am not amused. How else am I supposed to express my personality in a virtual classroom?

Well, if you’re like me fret no more. I have a solution. Instead of playing with my Zoom background effect, I have decided to put things next to and behind me in the regular world. So here are a few things I put in the background of my Zoom calls in hopes that the baddies will notice.

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The Monday Catchup

As I sat down to write this week’s catchup, I thought to myself, “oof this is gonna be tough, nothing really happened this weekend.” But, as I really reflected, I remembered more and more of the events from the past few days, and realized how perfect it all is. I’d describe the weekend as a collage. Or maybe a tapestry of life at Kenyon. An amalgamation of social spheres— a true microcosm of Kenyon’s student culture. Not only was there original musical theater happening in an art gallery, but there was an a cappella concert both nights, some Greek life cult events, AND some sort of sporting excitement that warranted hordes of loud drunk people around Hanna Hall at 10:30 in the morning. And finally, I’ll expose myself, with as little shame as possible, and say that I attended a murder mystery party and I didn’t hate it. THIS is the Liberal Arts. At Kenyon YOU WILL, GODDAMMIT. 

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Josh Radnor, Please Stop Haunting Me

Image result for josh radnor scary

 It’s 4:30 am, and I wake up from a nightmare in a cold sweat, covered in a pile of Cheez-It crumbs. I scramble for my phone, my hands shaking as I wipe the tears from my bloodshot eyes. My roommate shakes her head and rolls back to the other side of the bed. “God, not again. Go to bed. He’s not real.” I do not answer. I am rendered speechless by the image of my tormentor, the man who haunts my nightmares: Josh Radnor.

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