New and Improved Roommate Pairing Questionnaire

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credit: Apple, their Apple Pencil (2nd Generation), a pencil, made of ghosts (probably), this is how they actually marketed it

 

Dear The Office of Residential Life,

It has been several years since my last confession. Though I work for you, I feel as if I could do more to work with you. I am a simple person with simple skills. I can ask politely for things I am paying for. I can put an unlimited amount of raw Sriracha in my tiny, tiny mouth. I can peel an orange in one seamless ribbon but usually I can’t. This is my effort to bring my passion for putting people into broad categories (ie. astrology, MBTI, sorting-hat) to you, The Office formally known as Residential Life. Below are what I believe to be some questions which which truly bring insight to the Roommate Pairing Process. You can reach me at wordpress.com, or at your local Post Office.

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Oops, I Did It Again: Domino’s as an Uber

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Remember the wonderful event that everyone yelled at me for doing last semester? Well, this time it was for a Good Cause, not just because I was cold. I’m not that much of a continuous dumbass.

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In the Studio: Annie Blackman ’20

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Photo by Jacqueleen Eng ’19

Welcome to In the Studio, a feature dedicated to exploring the fantastic independent musicians at Kenyon. This week, we showcase Annie Blackman, an English major, Thrill Grandma, and singer-songwriter from Montclair, NJ, who is known for artfully crafting melodies and lyrics that evoke a sense of forlornness.  Continue reading

Kenyon Doppelgängers: Rose Bialer ’20 and Lili Bernstein ’22

 

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Welcome back to Kenyon Doppelgängers, this week featuring Rose Bialer ’20 and Lili Bernstein ’22. We have cast our net far and wide to find a pair such as these two! Both sporting luscious brown hair, gold hoops, and freckled faces meet for the very first time on a rainy day in Peirce. Both ladies even don flower names and are certainly as lovely as such flowers! Continue reading

An Exposé on Love, Mail Crime, and Kenyon’s Finest

 

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Very loosely based on a true story 

It’s a fine fall/summer/swelteringly hot day of 90 degrees at Kenyon. You’re walking down the street and the birds, or should I say the construction sounds, are screeching and you’re headed to the bookstore to pick up your package. It’s your birthday. Mom sent you a box which you can speculate is probably filled with candy, cough drops, cough medicine, allergy medicine, tea, more tea, some more tea, your retainer that you “forgot at home”, and finally your birthday present which is a nice fat check. You stroll into the bookstore, down the stairs, and you wait on line behind all the sweaty students until finally it’s your turn. You say your name casually looking down at your phone, but wait there’s more. As the nice woman begins to inform you that they don’t have your package your heart begins to sink. Not have my package?? It’s my birthday! I got an email! You begin to explain the situation. You show them your email you state your name. With a confused look the nice woman breaks the news: Someone. Stole. Your. Package.

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Ideas I Gave My Roommate for Her Stop-Motion Animation Projects

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Spoiler Alert: She didn’t take any of them! Not out of lack of love or trust, but just because they fell short of her vision, artistically speaking. Stop-motion animation is, perhaps, one of the most difficult artistic crafts in the movie and art-making game, which is why I am so utterly impressed that some of my fellow compatriots are making fantastic feature short films from what we know as the cradle of civilization, Gambier, OH. How these studio art kids find artistic (divine?) inspiration in this tiny town is frankly beyond me. So of course, I gotta take some type of crack at it! God, this might be for a pretty niche audience but I think it’s working. Continue reading