Who doesn’t like butts? Probably some people don’t. But I do. Merely being in the presence of a butt soothes my chapped, weary soul to no end. It’s like staring into the sun. I may leave the experience dazed and blinded, but I’ll be darned if it wasn’t worth it. See the best butts of Kenyon after the jump! Continue reading
Tag Archives: loneliness
Seniors Reminisce: Jank Housing
Oh Kenyon housing, how you have changed over the course of my short tenure here. Back when my perky, 18 year old body first set foot on this campus, my highest residential aspirations were to while away sunday mornings in a Farr Hall stateroom, gazing down at disheveled passersby and softly chuckling to myself. This dream stands, I suppose, but I would guess the majority of the student body would beg to differ. In the past few years many of the college’s charming and cozy living spaces have been bulldozed in order to make way for the construction of spacious, white cubes set aside for the upper crust. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that I had the opportunity to apply to live in a mansion made out of paper, balsa wood and glue and be rejected. However, part of me misses the undeniable charm of the domiciles that had to die in order for these boxes to be birthed. Dear reader, take a walk with me if you will, and I will feed you knowledge of some long-gone, tastefully janky housing options. Continue reading
Stock Answers For Questions Your Parents Ask You Every Week
“No, mom, I’m totally getting to bed by ten each night.”
Being the parent of a college student must be stressful. For the first time since their birth, baby is out of reach, on a campus full of drunken heathens and at risk for communicating with radical academics who salivate at the chance to indoctrinate them into an anarcho-communist lifestyle. To make up for the lack of physical contact, parents try to call their college students at least once a week to check up, just to make sure baby is still alive.
The questions they ask never change. I’ve become convinced there is actually a script parents use for talking to their college aged kids. To help even the playing field, here are some stock answers to the questions parents love to ask. Continue reading
Uphill/Downhill: Awards
Welp, that was a bust.
Uphill: High Hopes — I for one could not have been more excited for the 24th Annual Student Leadership Awards, where I thought the Thrill would pick up all the available prizes, including Greek Organization of the Year and Unsung Hero. I would have felt like Adele when she won all those Grammys. Or Beyonce, or whoever else won a hell of a lot of awards. Peter Jackson?
The Kenyon Thrill 