I Propose A Social Experiment

Hello all. I declare a drought. No, I am not implying that there is any sort of water crisis plaguing central Ohio. Or that we are entering the sequel to the Dust Bowl.  In all honesty, I wish that was the case. This, my friends, is far more pressing. I suppose it isn’t technically regarded as a “crisis”, however, I can no longer hold back my strong discontent with the set of eligible bachelors at Kenyon College. Upon undergoing the grueling college process, I was promised that I would be a big fish placed in a tiny, yet crystal clear pond filled with new eye candy. However, going on year two, I feel like a fish gasping for air in an above ground pool that has been drained.

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The Monday Catchup 9/14/20

Salutations plebes. I’ve started to question the level of reality of this thing we call “Kenyon” “College.” As the days go by, my time on the hill feels more and more like a lengthy lucid dream. Sure, I have hours and hours of vivid memories stored in my little pea-brain of all the quintessential Kenyon moments, like passing a raccoon on Middle Path, and feeling that fleeting sense of spiritual connection between man and beast, or sitting at a New Side rectangle table for so long that your ears begin to ring and your vision starts to blur. But are those moments of bliss from my “College” “Experience” fact? Or are they fictions my neurons slap-dashed together on a particularly turbulent night of dreams? Am I really here, writing this catchup? Or am I tucked away in deep sleep, having an especially surreal dream that has quickly turned nightmare? Terrors of the brain aside, here’s the weekend:

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