Spring Breakers: Kenyon Edition

This is the American dream y’all. I got five tables at Peirce. I got five cases of Apple Cider and no one’s gonna stop me tonight. I got Beyonce on repeat. REPEAT! I got Bean Boots in every color! LOOK AT IT. I GOT MASON JARS

“This is the American dream y’all. I got five tables at Peirce. I got five cases of Apple Cider. I got Beyonce on repeat. REPEAT! LOOK AT ALL OF IT. I GOT MASON JARS”

It’s finally here. Spring Break. You rush out of your last class of the day and expect Kenyon to suddenly turn into Spring Breakers: Kenyon Edition. Instead,  as you walk down middle path, you start to realize everyone has suitcases.  Swarms of students pile into shuttles. The campus goes silent.  Perturbed, you start to wonder if there’s a huge event you to which you haven’t been invited. Feeling sorry for yourself, you head to Peirce. At Peirce there is a hushed silence, and as you easily and triumphantly claim a table on New Side at 6 p.m. you realize where everyone has gone:  they’re eating at an airport or enjoying a home cooked meal at the kitchen table. As you look down at your fifth bowl of chicken and rice this week, you daydream of what fun you might be able to have on this now empty campus:

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