I Refuse To Donate To Kenyon College Until They Acknowledge The Academic Value Of McDonald’s Lore

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The four years I’ve spent here at Kenyon College, this bucolic intellectual wonderland, have been some of the most special of my life. I’ll be walking away from graduation this spring with a profound conceptual toolbox with which to approach the world. However, as I leave the campus behind, I’m left with a sour taste in my mouth and a painful awareness of this school’s inexcusable shortcomings. That’s why, after much thought, I refuse to donate any money to the college until they do what’s right and acknowledge the academic value of McDonald’s lore.

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The Friday Mustard

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Source: terapeak.com

Hey, big news here at The Thrill. This segment is no longer the Friday Ketchup. Instead, from now it is the Friday Mustard. Now I know some people might be upset about this change, but I think in the long run it will be for the best for all of us. I want you to know that it isn’t your fault. The content you know and love will still be here providing your life meaning and fulfillment, but now it will have a new yellow coat. No need to worry. It’s the Friday Mustard. Continue reading

Mount Vernon McRoundup

Who doesn’t love McDonald’s? I love McDonald’s. You love McDonald’s.

I love it more than you can know.

I love it more than you can know.

If you don’t love McDonald’s you ought to be quiet or leave…

I love Big Macs, Quarter Pounders, Chicken McNuggets, Filet-O-Fishes, French Fries, McFlurries, Fish Bites, Sausage McMuffins, Egg McMuffins, Fruit and Yogurt Parfaits, Apple Pies, Big Breakfasts, Deluxe Big Breakfasts and Snack Wraps. You name it, I love it.

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The Monday Catchup

This guy got arrested for assault.

This guy got arrested for assault.

Good morning! Here’s what you missed over inauguration weekend:

The Lead Story: Chris Brown was arrested Sunday morning in Washington D.C. on felony assault charges. TMZ alleges that Brown punched the victim in the face after getting into an argument on K Street outside the W Hotel. The incident could constitute a violation of his probation for assaulting Rihanna in 2009, which would mean up to four years in jail. Seems like anger management courses are long overdue here.

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