10 o’clock list: Jokes I Will Never Stop Telling

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Hello everyone it is I, the Repeats Their Jokes Goblin! And boy oh boy, what a nightmare of a semester this has been. Winter lasted until late April, the campus is being torn up all around us, NightWorld chaos has erupted within our very library, the things we anticipated the most have been disastrous looks into our dark selves, and of course we are on the precipice of Sendoff. That’s right, we are staring headlong into the biggest party weekend of the semester, featuring three refugees from an alien dystopia in identical white turtlenecks playing computer noise at us before a hard cut into Kenyon’s premiere sadboi indie pop group, and of course, a party literally named for containing wild animals. Continue reading

Moderate Slang for Mod Growing Pangs

 

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There are the beauts.

 

Hello, it is I, the Modular Unit Goblin! And another week at Kenyon means another week of putting up with whatever absolute bullshit the administration is trying to tell us is good for Kenyon. But today I won’t be talking about that problem, I’ll be talking about our beloved library replacements, and their very fast delivery onto Ransom Lawn.

We know that these modular buildings will quickly integrate into Kenyon’s culture. So we here at The Thrill have come up with some modular unit slang we think will come out of these new buildings. And boy, I know I sure can’t wait to try out all these new phrases!

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Liberal Arts’ Janney-Radnor Sex Scene: A Critical Analysis

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Oh hello! It is I, the Irresponsibility Goblin! Your personal piece of trash going nowhere fast! My face has nary been around these parts as of late, for a number of reasons. Most of them having to do with my taking on a frankly unrealistic amount of academic work, but we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here because staff writer Nate Winer wanted somebody to close read a scene from Josh Radnor’s famous Liberal Arts, the Kenyon masterpiece. I begged him for it, and have now come out of my self-imposed exile to fulfill this promise. So here it is folks–I’m going to close read the scene where Josh Radnor has sex with Allison Janney.

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Lit Lit: Jurassic Park

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Hello it is I, the irresponsible goblin! And this is Lit Lit, a segment I host where I get someone lit and we talk about books, and also, a full-fledged excuse to get drunk on a weekday, which I can do here because of Keynesian makework or something. This week, I had the pleasure of talking to Hannah Violins about a classic work of literature, Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (pronounced Cry-tin). Hannah’s dialogue will be in plain old type, and actions will be in italics. Continue reading

Ask the Thrill: Market Choices!

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Hello all! It is I, the Question Goblin! In this segment, I ask the Thrill staff lots of fun questions and get some diverse and unique opinions! This week I asked the Thrill staff this:

What do you get from the market when you’re at your lowest emotional point?

And boy did I get some fun answers!

Sarah Hoffmann, Editor-in-Chief

“I’ll buy anywhere between three and five Vitamin Waters at once. Also Munchies.”

Colleen Kemp, Daily Editor

“A single potato from the produce section. Retail price: 76 cents.”

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