Guide: How to Mathematically Determine the Fastest Routes on Campus

Close your eyes.

Somewhere, out in the woods, the distant call of a songbird beckons the dawn of a new day. Set against the white plaster, gentle streams of sunlight slowly drift across the walls of your room, boldly silhouetted against half-drawn blinds. Silently, the bed frame groans under pressure, as you roll over onto the far side of the mattress, straddling the cool wall with outstretched palms. Greedily you savor a final deep breath, holding firm, only relenting when you sense the wall release alongside you. You can feel it, right? You’re in sync. All that now lies between you and the brink of fulfillment is the hesitation of the morning mist. In a sudden burst, you return to your back, reach for your phone, and pry open teary eyes to check what time it is on this perfect March morning.

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Try This One Easy Trick for Social Distancing: Being Fast As Fuck

Pictured: Sonic the Hedgehog, the only movie this year to outrun the coronavirus

Morning in Gambier comes with the crunch of shoes on gravel. Swarms of students from north and south campus converge upon the hundred-or-so square feet of class area. In a better time, we would have all walked side by side as friends, except for that one friend who has to walk behind.

Now we are all that friend, as social distancing mandates personal space. With the mass of people moving between classes, how can one possibly hope to properly follow CDC guidelines?

As my hero once told me, “Gotta go fast.”

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Day In The Life: A Middle Path Pebble

Day In The Life: A Middle Path Pebble

In this feature, The Thrill will showcase a typical day of a member of the Kenyon Community: student, faculty, or staff. If you have nominations for people to be showcased, please share them in the comments or email us at thekenyonthrill@kenyon.eduToday, we feature a middle path pebble.

7:00 am The early morning sunlight hits my body. It warms me up from the frost of the night. Such bliss, such tranquility. I am one among brothers, sisters, friends, family and lovers. We all snuggle close as we meet the new day. Hello Kenyon College. It’s me a middle path pebble. Get ready to step into my shoes because I so often end up in yours…

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10 o’clock List: Has THIS Ever Happened to You?


via The Frisky

Man, oh Man! Life can get so frustrating sometimes! Luckily, there’s a cure for that. I don’t know what it is, but it’s probably $29.99 and if you call now you’ll get another one FREE! Now, especially, to deal with the mundanities of Kenyon, let me ask you a question: has THIS ever happened to you?

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What I Learned from a Conversation with the Picketers on Middle Path


Photo credit: Devon Musgrave-Johnson ’19

Today, several sign-touting evangelists preached on Middle Path. This group has come once a semester since my first year at Kenyon. I’ve always avoided them. Still, I had questions: Why do they come to Kenyon? Are they part of a church? If so, which one? Do they visit other colleges? What is their goal in speaking here?

This year, I sought answers.

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