Whether it was a family phone call when I accidentally called my sister a hairy gorilla, last week’s lunch date with my girlfriend when I gave the wrong answer to a very tricky question, or an off-color joke I made last night about my buddy’s relationship with his parents, I often find myself needing to take some time to simply shut the fuck up. As a Kenyon student, when my mouth has gotten me in trouble I’ve found it smart to be quiet, depart from the situation in which I’ve created turmoil, and find a comfy place to sit and observe instead. In moments when I’ve put myself in timeout, while people-watching, I have assembled the following list. So without further ado, I present to you my lovely reader, The Types of People You’ll Find Around Middlepath.