Bored This Weekend? Visit a Luxury Missile Site!


As we all know, the world could end any day now, what with terrorism, climate change, asteroids, that socialist in the White House and the mere fact that there’s a show called Mob Wives. When the end does come, you don’t want to wait out the radiation clouds in some sort of icky public bunker, right? No! You need your own luxury bunker hidden inside a refurbished missile defense site, conveniently located just a few hours away in Southwest Ohio! It features all the comforts of an above-ground home, like a jacuzzi and even a “Care Bears mural,” plus perks like missile tubes that can be opened to let in the sunlight (but only if the atmosphere isn’t on fire).