Gremlins! As you already know (and if you do not know, please emerge from the mossy rock under which you are residing– we miss you), this weekend was Shock Your Mom. We at The Thrill are all about following through with our promises, such as promising to eat our way down Coshocton Ave, or to taste every single Italian soda at Wiggin, so we thought it only fitting to stay true to this promise. Which promise, you ask? Why, the promise of shocking our parental units, of course! After we scrubbed the glitter, beer, feathers, filth, etc. off our tired, tired bodies, we decided to ask our mothers whether or not they were, in fact, shocked by our Shock Your Mom outfits. Here are the responses we received.
Moms. They love us and take care of us. But one thing they can’t do is send normal texts that can’t be made fun of in some way. That’s right. It’s time for this year’s first installment of Mom Texts! It’s our recurring feature where we examine the texts of my own mother and some of her fellow moms.
- “I had a dream that you turned into candy corn. Tell me you are human… please.” – This one comes from the mother of Joey Chimes ’19, one of our new writers. This would indeed be a scary dream for a mom to have about her kid, so I sympathize with her. I would not want my kids to become candy corn!
Well it’s been a while since the first edition of Mom Texts. Don’t fret though, because I have another round of inspirational texts from a loving and caring mother. Also, wish her a happy birthday because it was on the 10th!
- “Dad and I have a U2 album on our phones. Did you download that?” – Guess what – other moms besides my own are silly too! This one one was sent to my brother’s fiancee by her mom. While this would be a very understandable question back in the fall, this was sent in mid-January.
Moms are wonderful people. They care and nurture you as you grow up, but are still there for you when you’re a big boy or girl. And, best of all, they text you. Rather a lot, if you’re my mom. And some of those texts are quite wonderful in their quirky, mom way. That doesn’t even include her Instagram full of flowers and action figure Benjamin Franklins.
We all have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Kenyon Confessions. But at the end of the day, we’re the ones submitting them, whether we admit to it or not. But how would those who raised us think of our school’s emotional outlet? The mothers of Thrill writers comment (anonymously, of course!) on their thoughts on Kenyon’s most notorious Facebook page.
- “Kenyon Confessions seems to bring out the middle schooler in all of you. It’s easy to spot the kids who didn’t get picked for the kickball team in PE, the first kids with braces, you know, that kind of thing. When they get older, both the men and the women will grow a pair.” Continue reading