How to Not Throttle the NYC First Years Comparing Mutuals Ahead of You in Line at the Deli

I write this apology on behalf of all of the New York first years as sort of a self aware notes-app apology. I have just joined this midwestern safe haven, but I’d like to address my community and say this: I have failed you. I am so angry at myself for not seeing it sooner. I have not leveraged my New York identity that no one cares about to speak up for people from the ‘burbs. I’m sorry. Here is my commitment to do better.

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