“Fake Adulthood,” “White-Washed Suburbia,” and “Mommy Needs Her Happy Juice, Now Stop Hitting Your Brother With The Nerf Gun Your Father Bought You,” are just a few of the weird names you can give an NCA. We asked you for all the pet names you have for your small cube of strange dystopian-style housing, check ’em out after the jump!
“I’m so happy my parents named me after Graham Gund! I can’t wait to get to college and get made fun of all the time!”
As we can tell from more than several Kenyon Confessions, people at Kenyon long to be in relationships with other individuals from Kenyon, leading to actual Kenyon marriages and will possibly lead to Kenyon babies, who then go to Kenyon and repeat the process. But naming your eventual child Kenyon is far too cliché for our hipster campus and, let’s face it, more than a bit confusing. Never fear! Here is a list of Kenyon-related names for your future children. Or your current ones, if you’re an alumni or just good at hiding babies in your NCA. Continue reading
There are some pretty cool people who work at Kenyon, and some of them have pretty cool names. Here are the top five names I, whose full meh-moniker is David James Hoyt, envy.
5. Anna Xiao Dong Sun (Assistant Professor of Sociology): You know why. (What’s that? You don’t know why?)
4. Pamela G. Camerra-Rowe (John B. McCoy Bank One Distinguished Teaching Associate Professor of Political Science): This isn’t so much because of her name, but because of her sprawling title. Imagine fitting that on a business card! Camerra-Rowe also goes by the (affectionate) nickname “Pamela C-Minus Rowe.”
3. Royal W. Rhodes, (Donald L. Rogan Professor of Religious Studies): His first name is Royal! So classy. The alliteration doesn’t hurt, either.
2. Barbara J. Hammer (Telecommunications Officer in the Department of Campus Safety): This is such a cool name for a Campus Safety officer. Don’t drink in first-year areas, or else THE HAMMER WILL COME DOWN ON YOU!
And after the jump…the number one name at Kenyon!
The Kenyon Thrill 