We Downloaded Average Photos of Famous Kenyon Alumni. What Happened Next Will Astound You.



Recently, I was reminded by my Thrill colleague’s timely roast of Rutherford B. Hayes that some seriously influential and somewhat baller people have graduated from Kenyon over the past hundred-odd years. With this knowledge dancing around in my brain box, I was compelled to ask: What would it be like if a bunch of successful alumni got together and had weird kids? Once that idea nugget poked its head out of the proverbial egg that is my skull, nothing could stop me from making my dream a reality. Man-man couplings that can’t produce children? Non-intersecting lifespans? WHO CARES. Let’s smash some faces together and see what we get.

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Dear Alum: Nick Bakay ‘81

Kenyon’s alumni are some of the best and brightest in the world (we happen to think). In this new feature, we’ll be celebrating some of our most beloved Kenyon alums with the highest honor any mortal can hope to achieve: notes/letters published on the Internet. Yes, that’s right, the Internet.

The man behind the magic. via salem.damowmow.com

Dear Nick Bakay,

First of all, I’m sorry that you aren’t brought up in conversation as much of some of the other alums–John Green and Paul Newman ain’t got nothin’ on you, bud. Many of my peers would be surprised to learn the the dude who voiced Salem on Sabrina, the Teenage Witch went here.

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