BREAKING: Internet Crashes, Ruins Everyone’s Day

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It’s official, folks – the Internet is dead. According to texts sent out by the Kenyon College Alert System earlier today, Time Warner is experiencing outages in the greater Gambier area. No time estimate for repair is currently available. We here at The Thrill will try our best to keep you updated to the extent that we can, so connect connect your smartphone to that sweet, sweet LTE data and stay tuned.

UPDATE: 1:13 PM – Time Warner has disclosed that the outage was caused by a cut cable. No estimated time for repair was disclosed. Observed campus attitude: Indifference mixed with a hint of genuine resolve.

UPDATE: 2:29 PM – The Internet is estimated to be back up and running at 4:30 PM. Will students find it within themselves to complete their homework once it returns? Only time will tell.