Kenyon Mad Libs: A Short Biography of Phil Chase

Kenyon Mad Libs: A Short Biography of Phil Chase

Heyo! It’s staff baby Tyler “Mayonnaise on the Side” Raso ’19 here, bringing you a Kenyon College Mad Lib!

What is a Mad Lib?

A) “A phrasal template word game where one player prompts others for a list of words to substitute for blanks in a story” (Wikipedia) (((that’s an MLA citation)))

B) My Sad Childhood

C) Not the sequel to Mad Max which catalogs the dystopic adventures of Max’s long-estranged twin sister, Lib

D) All of the above Continue reading

My Elementary School Journals: A Kenyon Story

My Fifth Grade graduation was a grand event. I remember that I specially matched my braces to my blue chiffon dress for the occasion. An alum returned from the High School, to make us feel small and bestow upon us values that I can’t really remember. In fact, throughout the excessive 2 and half hour ceremony, I don’t think I remember anything that was said. All that I remember is the weird sweaty smell of the gymnasium, and convincing myself that I needed to feel sentimental as I embarked upon my new middle school adventure. A full decade later, I still don’t know how to feel about graduation. I’ve lived about as far ahead as my young mind at that time could comprehend, but part of me wonders what my eleven year old self understood about the future that I may have since forgotten. Here are some young minds of Kenyon College before they graduated elementary school, wondering about the future and writing about the present and past, teaching us all through their carefree innocence:

Gray Clark ’17, History and Russian Area Studies: First Grade

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Seniors Reminisce: Jank Housing

Item Packet

Oh Kenyon housing, how you have changed over the course of my short tenure here. Back when my perky, 18 year old body first set foot on this campus, my highest residential aspirations were to while away sunday mornings in a Farr Hall stateroom, gazing down at disheveled passersby and softly chuckling to myself. This dream stands, I suppose, but I would guess the majority of the student body would beg to differ. In the past few years many of the college’s charming and cozy living spaces have been bulldozed in order to make way for the construction of spacious, white cubes set aside for the upper crust. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that I had the opportunity to apply to live in a mansion made out of paper, balsa wood and glue and be rejected. However, part of me misses the undeniable charm of the domiciles that had to die in order for these boxes to be birthed. Dear reader, take a walk with me if you will, and I will feed you knowledge of some long-gone, tastefully janky housing options. Continue reading

The Class of 2013 Remembers

Ah. Nostalgia.

[This article was co-written by Eve Asher ’13.]

Hey class of 2013, remember how when we were first-years everything was awesome and fun all the time? And now everything is terrible? What could explain this? Certainly not us getting old and jaded. Must be that the school’s changing. Mhmm. Yup. Remember these relics of happier times?

The Bexleys. When I was a first-year I used to dream of one day living in a Bexley. You see, kids, where now stands a field of enormous gleaming cookie-cutter houses, there was once a street lined with modestly sized, kinda run-down cookie-cutter houses. They seemed so glamorous and adult compared to my room in Gund. But the NCAs make the Bexleys look like the New Apts. Also the NCAs don’t host a sweet block party, which is a real shame.

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This Week’s Kenyon Throwback: The Grab N’ Go, May It Rest in Peace

Hello, whippersnappers and fellow upperclassmen, and welcome to the first ever Kenyon Throwback.  For some of you, this will be like a stroll down memory lane; for others, a dusty piece of Kenyon lore; and for a few (I’m looking at you, young’uns), about as relevant as cassette tapes and floppy discs.  This week’s throwback is for the seniors out there, but rest assured, there will be many a post for students of all years to get the warm and fuzzies about.

Sometimes convenience is better than quality.  This was the unofficial slogan of the now defunct “Grab N’ Go,” a North Campus dweller’s answer to laziness the winter months when Peirce and Middle Ground were just too far to be worth the walk.  Now a lounge and study space, the Grab N’ Go was an underground haven in the depths of Gunderworld.  Now it resides in the seniors’ faint memories of freshman year along with the Milks.  It was great for those days when I felt like holing up in my Lewis dorm room rather than trekking to the socially vibrant Peirce.  For those of you who wanted three PB&Js but were discouraged by the finicky process of spreading six slices of bread with peanut butter and jelly (bread can be such a hassle) and crossing the servery 10 times between the jelly and peanut butter stations, the Grab N’ Go had your back.  Want three turkey wraps?  Go for it.  Hell, take another while you’re at it.  That wrap isn’t going bad anytime soon, may as well stock up.

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