Breaking: Someone Drove Into the Peoples Bank (Updated)

Ruh-roh! (David Hoyt for The Thrill)

According to Peoples Bank of Gambier employees, a woman backing out of the bank’s parking lot crashed into the side of the bank at around noon today. One employee speculated that she may have hit the gas instead of the brake.

No one was hurt, and the car has since been removed, but significant damage to the bank building is evident.

A crew is currently in the process of removing debris, and there is an actual hole in the wall. The bank is still operating, but part of the tellers’ area is blocked off, and buckling of the wall and drop ceiling is apparent.

We don’t want to be the Blog that Cried Wolf, but we smell a conspiracy here. Last October, a speeding car rammed through the front of Fiesta Mexicana while members of the service organization Circle K were having dinner. This weekend, Circle K is running an alternative gift market, which has to do with money, which has to do with BANKS! The truth will come out!

Another photo (interior view!) below the jump. Continue reading

Apparently We’re the Fifth “Druggiest” College in America

The Daily Beast has come out with this fine piece of journal-slideshow-ism ranking the American colleges with the worst drug cultures, and Kenyon comes in at number five. The rankings are based on “drug safety” grades pulled from College Prowler (40% of the score), the number of on-campus drug-related arrests per year relative to the size of the school (also 40%) and the prevalence of drug use by 18-25 year olds in general in the state each college is located in (20% of the score).

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this list is how Kenyon compares to other institutions in Ohio. Four of the 30 listed schools are in Ohio, and apparently we’re druggier than Miami University and Ohio Wesleyan, but less druggy than Denison (which is number two; the top prize goes to the University of Colorado—Boulder). The fact that Oberlin doesn’t appear anywhere makes this list’s accuracy highly suspect.

Possible follow-up study: exclude the Horn from the Kenyon campus and see how many spots we fall.

Be Thankful You Aren’t Being Chased by a Demon Turkey

The only turkey most of us encounter on Thanksgiving is a delicious, moist roasted one, sitting serenely on our dining table and surrounded by his friends, cranberries and stuffing. This poor local news reporter, however, had the misfortune of being stalked for several terrifying minutes by a demonic wild turkey. Lessons to be learned: A) If someone tips you off about an evil turkey in their yard, just take their word for it and don’t investigate, B) mail carriers are everyday heroes (and when they corner the turkey, run away and don’t wait around for him to start running at you again) and C) JESUS CHRIST, NOOOO!!! <gobble gobble>

Update from The Fox Hole

Hopefully you’ve all read the Collegian’s two investigative pieces (here and here) on the famous Fox Hole, a strip club in nearby New Castle. If you’ve been wondering what’s gone on at this distinguished establishment since last winter, this video will fill you in. The Thrill thanks Kisky Holwerda ’14, proprietor of the blog “Blonde in the ‘Bier,” for bringing this to our attention.