If Ohio had a cat it would probably be named something pitiful like Fluffy or Whiskers or John Kasich because when it comes to naming our cities, we seem to be somewhat unoriginal. Not only are we using the names of other places for our places, but we’re creating the societal expectation that our Ohio version will be just as good, if not better, than the original place. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have duplicates–I love a good twin pack of deodorant from CVS–but the Fiesta Mexicana Express on Coshoctan Ave has 4 stars on Yelp and the Fiesta Mexicana on High St. has 4.5, i.e. sometimes a duplicate doesn’t quiet live up to expectations.
10TV — Central Ohio’s News Leader! — reports that a female employee of The Peanut Shoppe, located on High Street in downtown Columbus, was held at knifepoint on Friday afternoon. A large man in his mid-30s allegedly entered the store and asked the employee about the Shoppe’s many varieties of delicious peanut candy, then pulled a knife on her and may have been trying to force her into a back room. The man fled when a customer entered and the employee called for help.
The real story here, of course, is that apparently Columbus has an entire store devoted entirely to peanuts and various peanut-related products. Look for The Thrill to publish a full report on this delicious new development as soon as we get a chance to check it out.
It’s no secret that Walmart is one of Kenyon’s top off-campus hangout spots and that it’s a great place to meet some really colorful characters. But even better than the People of Walmart are the Products of Walmart—after the jump, we present the top five. (And if you’re looking for some more practical Walmart offerings, click here, because The Thrill is kind of on a Walmart streak this week.)
As Gambier continues to suffer through the rainiest, non-snowiest December I’ve seen in all my years here*, The Thrill is vigilantly watching for any signs of that beautiful, glorious miracle of winter. It’s possible that we will be greeted by some dustings of snow in the morning, but with any luck Friday will bring at least a thin layer of snow that actually sticks. C’mon, Ohio. December snow (as opposed to deep, interminable “spring” semester snow) is the only thing that makes finals bearable.
*Full disclosure: I’ve been here for a grand total of one year.
Last week, an Ohioan burglar proved that Midwest hospitality really does exist. Terry Trent allegedly broke into a home in Vandalia, a suburb of Dayton, and rather than the typical burglar pastime of… you know… stealing things, Trent began decorating. For Christmas. CBS also reports that “the burglar who was already in the holiday spirit was high on bath salts.”
Trent’s terrifying spree of holiday spirit ended when an 11-year-old boy discovered him and called his mother. Trent is currently being held in the Montgomery County Jail.
Hopefully you’ve all read the Collegian’s two investigative pieces (here and here) on the famous Fox Hole, a strip club in nearby New Castle. If you’ve been wondering what’s gone on at this distinguished establishment since last winter, this video will fill you in. The Thrill thanks Kisky Holwerda ’14, proprietor of the blog “Blonde in the ‘Bier,” for bringing this to our attention.
Most of us, upon hearing the news of a massive malevolent menagerie on the loose in Zanesville, Ohio were scared halfway to Hell. But not Cambridge, Ohio, residents Richard Weidlich and Brian Matthews, who apparently thought it would be a good idea to take the body of one of the executed lions and PUT IT IN THEIR JEEP CHEROKEE.
I’m sorry, but what? It’s one thing to stumble upon a dead tiger or lion and snap a photo with Hipstamatic and upload it to Facebook, but it’s something else entirely to take this majestic animal, which is probably about the size of a Manning double, and put it in your car. One of the would-be thieves (they were stopped by officers from the Muskingham Country Sheriff’s Office before they could get away) said that they were just “living in the moment.” You know what I do when I’m living in the moment? I buy myself a cookie from MiddleGround or maybe a #29 from the Deli, if the moment seems particularly significant (or livable, or whatever).
Or maybe, like corn hole, this is one game that I wasn’t taught while growing up on the East Coast.