Advice for First-Years from a Crusty Ancient

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Happy year one to Kenyon’s Class of 2022! We, the Council of Elders, are very pleased and excited to have you here with us. We love your style, your spirit. Your large numbers. Your sweet, chittery little bird voices as you skip down Middle Path in droves, animatedly discussing how awesome your English 103 classes are. Yes! We love you very, very much!!! Because of how much we love you, we at the Thrill would like to quell your nerves a little bit by giving you some advice about how to Make It in this crazy cartoon college. If you take our advice, you are certain to graduate!!! 100% money back guarantee. Have a good day, sweetie, and don’t forget to eat lunch! Xoxo, the Kenyon Thrill. WE LOVE YOU!!!

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10 o’clock list: Most Nostalgic School Supplies in the Bookstore

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Full disclosure time, guys. I’ve just turned 20. This is horrifying not because I still can’t buy my own alcohol (goddammit, so close), but because I do not know where the last year went. Until a week before my birthday I accidentally, yet consistently, told people that I was 18. Without noticing it, I have become an Adult College Student Type Person, also known as Old. I was still coming to terms with this realization when I noticed that the bookstore stocks several things I haven’t needed for 10 years. Nostalgia, ahoy!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be decorating my pencil case with glitter and kitty stickers.

1.  Elmer’s Glitter Glue  Continue reading