Overheard: First Week Back

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Welcome back, clowns! We’ve somehow made it through the first couple of days after break—I’m still blaming all of the chaos on the loss of our fourth week—and now it’s time to slog through winter and hope for another polar vortex. Plenty of things on campus are different but one thing will never change: The Thrill is always listening. We heard you with our sweet baby ears and know what you did last night. It’s Overheard!

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Shit Professors Say, Vol. V

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These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors. Click here for our previous installment.

*Glances at the clock* “I’m in despair.”

“We have lots of exciting things going on today! First of all, yes, I shaved half of my eyebrow. No, there’s no interesting story to go along with it.”

“I’m trying to figure out my existence in front of this work of art, and you guys are making out in front of it??”

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Where Was It Said: Family Weekend or In Bed?

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It’s the one weekend when Kenyon gaslights parents into believing they’re sending their children to an Autumnal Utopia. Kenyon pulls out all the tricks: the Deli is open on Sunday, the Chilitos margs are flowing, and every public forum is jam packed with white kids singing a cappella. But on this small campus, Family Weekend is hard to escape, and there’s one question we have to ask ourselves: where was it said? Family Weekend or in bed?

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Shit Kenyon Professors Say, Vol. II

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We really do!

These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors. Click here for our previous installment. 

“I mean, obviously I’m leftist. I have leftist bias. But like, that shit’s racist.”

“I am older and meaner than the devil.”

“We all piss and shit.”

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Overheard at Kenyon: Finals Week

You’re not sure whether you’re about to vomit from stress, anxiety induced nausea, or your new diet of Red Bull, market tuna sandwiches, and cigarettes. Welcome to finals week! Here’s the fun part: us here at the Thrill have been listening. We’ve overheard all the nonsense that has come out of your crusty mouths. Behold, Overheard at Kenyon: Finals Week Edition.

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Overheard: Lance Bass Day

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he’s so funny

I am officially calling today Lance Bass day, because this is the day he walked his NSYNC-alum-ass self onto the Hill and demanded we flock. And boy did we flock. If you’ve graduated, or you’re studying abroad, or you’re stuck on 3rd floor Olin with no end in sight–we’ve got the highlights for you. The informed electorate deserves to know what happened. 

  • Lance Bass is campaigning for Hillary Clinton on a thing called the The LGBT Campus Tour. There are other *famous* people on this tour as well, but no one gives a shit about them. It’s a minivan that transports Lance Bass from unsuspecting college campus to unprepared college campus.
  • Lance Bass arrived at Kenyon and mostly everyone didn’t know he was coming. He arrived at Wiggin Street Coffee and ordered a large iced Americano. Later in the day he hadn’t finished much of it. I think he figured out Wiggin mostly puts water in their iced espresso drinks.

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