There’s been a flurry of media coverage recently about the search for possible replacements to ascend the throne of Pope Benedict XVI when he retires next week. Since we at the Thrill have a long and illustrious history of suggesting possible presidential candidates, we decided to help expedite the process with a little poll of our own. See you at the papal conclave, bitches.
Today’s prospective candidate we all know. Whether your last encounter with the Panini Press ended with you devouring a crunchy yet gooey quesadilla or making an emergency trip to Knox Community Hospital,* the big P plays a a crucial role in our day-to-day lives at Kenyon. From heating our cookies to pressing our sandwiches, the Panini Press clearly makes our food warming needs its top priority. And really, what more could you need in a college president? The Panini Press stands to do quite well at the polls. It has tested well with all demographics, with the exception of cold sandwich lovers. There is only one question left: will the Peirce Panini Press be able to pull enough gooey cheese supporters away from Papa John to secure the presidency?
*The Thrill has no knowledge that anyone has ever been severely injured on the Peirce Panini Press.
And it’s steampunk! Check the knobs and lights. Will its vintage counter culture edge further widen the chasm between North and South campus? Only time will tell.
For now, try not to get in trouble for sautéing onions on it.
UPDATE: Peirce calls this appliance a “panini grill,” not a panini press. But whatever.
[Thanks to Catherine Dwyer ’14 for the tip, which, by the way, went first to David McCabe ’14 and then finally to me but not until five minutes after she sent it to him.]