Project Open Voices: “Parents’ Weekend”

The Thrill is proud to feature personal narratives courtesy of the Project for Open Voices. Today’s essay was authored anonymously, in October of this year. 

Flashback to freshman year, October—my friends and I are finally starting to figure out how things work here. Settling into a routine hundreds (sometimes thousands) of miles away from home is never easy, but this had been much more difficult than I would have liked to admit. But despite the stress of academia and the fluid social circles, everything is starting to make sense. Parents’ Weekend is here. We’ve all heard about it—it’s a Kenyon tradition! Parents come to Kenyon, join our little bubble for a couple days; everyone puts on their best, happy, sober faces and seeks to assure their families that the investment they made in this little school was a wise one.

My parents, of course, couldn’t make it. I’m definitely not alone in that. I had done my best to make sure they didn’t even find out that Parents Weekend was a Kenyon “thing.” But they did, and sure enough, my Father called me that day to half-heartedly let me know how sorry he is that they couldn’t make it. I’ll never forget how defeated he sounded.

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A Cappella Cabaret: A Review

Time for the aca-truth.

Time for the aca-truth.

This past weekend Kenyon a capella culminated in the annual Parents’ Weekend Cabaret. Every year the songs get better, pitch pipes get shinier, and the show gets longer. Each group gets to chose two songs to sing, and they have to bring it since Rosse year by year gets even more packed with students and eager parents. For those of you who weren’t there, however, here’s a run down on how the cabaret went. Continue reading

Weekend Drink: Mom and Dad are Home from Work

Oops, it's a stock photo. I didn't actually make this drink. My b. (via dreamstime.com)

Oops, it’s a stock photo. I didn’t actually make this drink. My b. (via dreamstime.com)

In this special Parents’ Weekend cocktail, we’re gonna mix two stereotypical post-work liquors to form a weird hybrid Mom-n-Pop disaster. After all, the two most important things in life are family and getting totally shitfaced, am I right?

You’re gonna need a few things:

  • White wine. Make it sparkle if you just got some extra cash.
  • Whiskey. What kind? I don’t know. Ask a dad.
  • Orange juice.
  • The ability to make believe you’re a really busy parent who just got home from the office.

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What Are You Doing on the Internet?

This family caught a lot of fish. What are YOU doing with your family? Probably something with fewer fish maybe.

This family caught a lot of fish. What are YOU doing with your family? Probably something with fewer fish maybe.

Stop reading this. Just stop. So many dads and moms and sisters and maybe grandpas are here. Are they yours? Who cares. Go hang out with them.

If you don’t know how, read some of our other Parents’ Weekend articles. Here’s one about stuff parents say. Here’s another one about hiding stuff from your dad or mom. And finally, here’s one about beer.

I’m eating brunch with my dad, so I’m leaving.