How to Tell Your Family About Your Weekend Without Revealing Your Heathen Ways

So, it’s that time again. You finally remember to call your family, they ask you how your weekend was, and you don’t have an answer. What are you supposed to say, that you partied so hard you don’t actually remember your weekend? Having some pre-prepared white lies to these questions can help you get out of situations like this. Luckily, they’re so simple, you can remember them no matter how hungover you are.

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Why Does Formal Season Feel Like a Never Ending Middle School Dance?

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I guess I should have known that pulling up to the Zeta formal wearing jeans wasn’t going to fly. The two girls out in front seemed to be running a very tight ship—and don’t get me wrong I respect the rules—I just wasn’t aware that in order to attend a middle school dance in Colburn you needed a Prada gown. That said, obviously, I put on the fanciest thing I own for my own formal, so I don’t really have any validity in my bitterness.

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I Heard “Mr. Brightside” Four Times in One Night: Here’s What Happened

My name is Nathan Scott Winer and I was never meant to attend an all-campus party. I am unable to dance without feeling like a dunce (fun wordplay for you), I am always upset by sticky floors and walls (@ the AD lounge), and I don’t like most of the music played at any large gathering. That being said, any time I’ve gone out on a weekend night there has always been at least one moment of complete euphoria, just complete and utter joy. I feel like my soul is ready to leave my body to mingle with the souls of the rest of this campus whenever I hear the first few notes of what I genuinely think is one of the best songs written and released in the last several decades. I’m talking, of course, about The Killer’s seminal number one hit, “Mr. Brightside.”

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How to Be a Person: Hangovers

Actual real hangovers (via boozingo.com)

Last night was the best night of your life – you went the first all campus of the year and danced your booty off, maybe even talked to that cute person you’ve literally never seen before. But this morning? This morning is the different story. Your head is pounding and your room has never been brighter. What do you do now? Continue reading