The Monday Catchup

The Monday Catchup has shared a document on Google Docs with you

themondaycatchup@kenyon.edu

to hhhhhhhhhhhh., bcc: old_kenyon_res.

 

The Monday Catchup has invited you to view the following document:

Screen Shot 2017-05-06 at 7.13.26 PM.png

Go ahead. Click the button. Once you do I’ll have access to your social security number, your mother’s maiden name, and the PRECISE location of your last sexual foray. So much for keeping that hookup in the KAC pool a secret. Ew, you did it in the deep end too. Some words that come to mind when I think of two bodies sloshing around are drenched, slippery, and tender. Hypothetically speaking, if I found myself hooking up in a pool, I might stop half way through and whisper in my lover’s ear, “Let’s pretend we are spaghetti noodles being cooked in boiling water.” I’d then surrender my body to the pool  in hopes of later being drenched in Mario Batali’s Tomato Basil Pasta Sauce 24.0 OZ, $5.98, no preservatives, crafted from imported San Marzano tomatoes & fresh basil leaves. Big turn on, I’m told. All hypothetical of course. ;—)

So, uh, how was your weekend?

“I tried turning up, but then finals turned me DOWN.”

Continue reading