Phling Nostalgia: The Class of ’14 Looks Back

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Phling may be dead, but Philander can still have phun. (via Old-Picture.com/Blingee)

I was but a wee first-year, dazedly stumbling my way home from Highlighter Party, when I heard the now-extinct Philander’s Phling mentioned for the first time. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” lamented Cool Senior Girl Smoking Outside Old Kenyon While Making Casual Dickensian References. Now it’s three years later, and we, the Phling-less, are still wondering — was it really that great?

In anticipation of tonight’s Philander’s Ball, and with help from some generous seniors (who shall remain anonymous because they’re all about to enter the real world), the Thrill has compiled a list of the Class of 2014’s all-too-real reminiscences on the Phling that was.

Senior A — “”I barely remember anything.”

Senior B ” 1. I went home with a German. 2. He told me that I had a “reputation.” 3. Woke up in Mather with a junior international student. 4. I’m still hungover from freshman year Phling 5. Nobody remembers Phling.”

Senior C — “I remember walking into Peirce and immediately a girl threw up at my feet. I stepped past her and headed towards New Side and then it was the next morning and I was home.”

Senior D — “Glow sticks!”

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The Class of 2013 Remembers

Ah. Nostalgia.

[This article was co-written by Eve Asher ’13.]

Hey class of 2013, remember how when we were first-years everything was awesome and fun all the time? And now everything is terrible? What could explain this? Certainly not us getting old and jaded. Must be that the school’s changing. Mhmm. Yup. Remember these relics of happier times?

The Bexleys. When I was a first-year I used to dream of one day living in a Bexley. You see, kids, where now stands a field of enormous gleaming cookie-cutter houses, there was once a street lined with modestly sized, kinda run-down cookie-cutter houses. They seemed so glamorous and adult compared to my room in Gund. But the NCAs make the Bexleys look like the New Apts. Also the NCAs don’t host a sweet block party, which is a real shame.

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10 o’clock list: Phive Things We Sort of Remember from Last Year’s Phling

We, like you, were distraught to hear this morning about the likely death of Philander’s Phebruary Phling, so we set out to write a rousing account of last year’s event in an attempt to persuade the administration to keep it around. This is about all we could remember.

  • The casino – You vividly remember shouting, “Bigmoneybigmoneybigmoney!” Then you woke up at a hotel in Columbus with your entire Gund room reconstructed around you. Divider included. Big money indeed.
  • Getting your photo taken by the “paparazzi” – You actually remember this pretty well, because someone from Student Activities tagged you in an album on Monday. No, how they got your name is not important.
  • When Weezer played – Wait, that was Dave Clarke? We didn’t know he was in Weezer.
  • The mozzarella sticks – We still don’t understand the rationale for serving zucchini sticks later in the night, but so help us God, we will not be happy if these cheesy masterpieces don’t make an appearance at whatever event gets the Phebruary Phunds.
  • Coat check – Or, as we call it, “Put your coat down and leave with a nicer one.”

The Phling is dead. Long live the Phling.

Is Phling About to be Phlung out the Window?

Editor’s note: This story was filed by Marika Garland, the Collegian’s News Editor.

One of Kenyon’s most popular events may have seen its final days. Philander’s Phling, at least as we’ve come to know and love it, is no more, according to Associate Dean of Students Tacci Smith.

Since Phling’s inception in the early 1990s, its goal has been to provide a student-run escape from the gloomy winter weather. In recent years, however, student volunteers have dwindled to zero, leaving the Division of Student Affairs and the Student Activities Office to run it. The alum who donated the fund that allocated $10,000 to Phling each year stipulated that the event be student-run, but student volunteers for this year remain nonexistent. “Everybody wants Phling, but no one is willing to do it,” Smith said.

As a solution to this problem, the College has decided to stop coordinating Phling and instead leave the $10,000 open to any student organizations with ideas for non-alcoholic, campus-wide events in February … or should I say Phebruary? A student organization could potentially plan a Phling-like event, or a new tradition could soon be born. Applications for these new “Phebruary Phunds” will be due by Friday, Nov. 18. Thank goodness Kenyon still has something featuring multiple “ph” words.  

Check out this week’s Collegian for the full story.