Hello, Kenyon. It is me, your grandmagrandpa Cat! It has come to my attention that a significant portion of you are from California, or Florida, or whatever other fake state kids are making up these days. This means you had no idea what to do in the terrible, horrible cold time of the polar vortex and will probably continue to be silly when the temperature (inevitably) drops again before spring actually arrives. I do not care WHAT the groundhog said. You are not leaving this house without your jacket, young man!
The dictionary on my computer defines sweat as “moisture exuded through the pores of the skin, typically in profuse quantities as a reaction to heat, physical exertion, fever, or fear.” I would say that’s accurate. After I read this definition I came to the realization that one, I might suffer from night terrors, and two, that I am not peeing my bed. No, it’s sweat. Sticky, yet sweet, sweat oozing from my pores as I sleep. Yes, I am sweating while I sleep.* “Why? How? Are you ok?” — are all reasonable questions to ask anyone, who just told you that they perspire an absurd amount whilst they slumber.
But here’s the deal: I sweat at night because it’s been so gosh darn cold this winter that I have been wearing layers upon layers of clothing at all times but especially at night, because you know, it’s colder when the sun goes down. But I am finding that two pairs of sweatpants over thermal underwear, a sweatshirt and a heat blanket is just too much. I’m comfortable as I drift off to sleep but I wake up tangled in my clothes and drenched in sweat. I don’t know if it’s at all related but I’ve definitely seen an increase of blemishes on my skin as well. Probably just a coincidence.
Anyways, in tonight’s list I offer a few suggestions for ending the horrible cycle of night sweats.