The Kenyon College Political Science Department and Satan have teamed up to provide us with the antiquated tradition, Comps: a two-day-long examination in which PSCI majors develop arthritic hands and the ability to graduate, but in the end, have nothing to show for all their hard work because it’s a test. Academia sure is sweet.
We are NOT a newspaper. If anything we are a FAKE BLOG!
This is the introduction to the Friday Ketchup. It’s the part of the feature where I usually go on about some unimportant event or create some vaguely funny story in an attempt to entertain you, my small readership. Ultimately, of course, nothing I write here really matters, and it will be forgotten by everyone, including myself, within a few hours. Such is the ephemeral nature of the written word on the Internet. All I can hope to do is write this piece for a few more weeks and then graduate, after which the Friday Ketchup will quickly be left behind, taking up storage space on a server somewhere, but not doing much else. Sure, I suppose someone may stumble upon one of these articles once in a while by accident, but they’ll move on even more quickly than you, picking it up and putting it down like a shell you find at the sea shore. It may be appreciated in the moment, but is soon forgotten for the next shell on a beach full of them. Though perhaps all we have are the moments, maybe that’s all there is. If we try to hold on to those moments, a million more pass us by. So I guess what I’m saying is: it’s the Friday Ketchup. Continue reading
Welcome back from break, kiddos. I hope you all got to spend some time tanning like I did. I sure do love peeling off the skin from every inch of my body, the intense satisfaction of it slowly detaching in my fingers. Like a molting snake I am born anew, tan and clean. All look in awe at my bronzed body, basking in my otherworldly glow. I have absorbed the Sun and taken its light. Darkness runs from me and the pale northern hordes are forced to shield their eyes from my brilliance. I am a golden god. Nothing can stop me. It’s the Friday Ketchup. Continue reading
It’s the last day before Spring Break. That’s right, soon you’ll be sitting at home or at a beach or somewhere else relaxing and enjoying your downtime, forgetting about everything at Kenyon, including all that work that your professors assigned over break. That’s right, you won’t be reading that 300-page book for your English class, or that dense 50-page article for Political Science, and you definitely won’t be writing that paper due a few days after you get back from break. I mean, why would you? It’s not like once you get back it will all come crashing down on you like a pile of bricks, crushing your very soul along with your GPA. I’m sure it will be fine. Enjoy your break. You earned it. It’s The Friday Ketchup
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The Kenyon Thrill 