The Monday Catchup


A bottle of ketchup comes with letter of acceptance

Oh boy! We’re drowning in prospies. That means sandwich board signs at every major building, stray balloons, and tours. If I had a dollar for every time I overheard, “Middle Path is the main artery of Kenyon” on a tour this weekend, I’d probably have 2 dollars. This impending wave of visitors, however, had no negative effects on the amount of evening time debauchery. Here are some candid thoughts.

“Sometimes I forget I’m allergic to gluten and have too many ciders. Ciders make my tummy hurt.”

“I had some nice luke warm milk—straight from the udder.”

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10 o’clock list: Things That People do on Tours That Make You Cringe

As I’m sure we’ve all noticed, winter hell has left us, and warm weather and sunshine is upon us. However, there are some things about spring that make us more attuned to the outside world. Suddenly, when you see a tour your first thought isn’t, “Those poor bastards are walking outside in 15 degree weather with a -20 wind chill.” So here is a list of some things about tours that make me wonder how we all haven’t died from secondhand embarrassment–

1. The kids who touch the center pole – Just today I was walking past a tour of about 20 people and one kid touched the center pole after being told not to. A passing student leaned over to his friend and said, “Oh god he touched it. He fucking touched it. I’m gonna puke.”

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10 o’clock list: My Criteria for Prospies

via tumblr

Because I occasionally host prospies, I am obviously the go to person for deciding whether or not someone gets in.  This is the criteria I use when I pass judgement.

1. How they chew – To me, nothing is worse than people who chew grossly.  Imagine a society where everyone chewed politely.  What a utopia that would be.

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Prospie Bingo

Bingo, no longer for just the elderly!

Bingo, no longer for just the elderly!

With the April 1st acceptance date looming ever-nearer, hoards of prospective students have been flooding the campus. While we have all been in their shoes, the long lines at Peirce and stumbling tour groups can serve as annoyance in our midterms-fueled February haze. But fear not, Kenyon. Inspired by other such endeavorsThe Thrill has created a bingo card to heighten the experience of people-watching the prospies. Print it out and start playing! Continue reading