With it being October, Halloween is right around the corner, and with Halloween comes pumpkins and with pumpkins comes overwhelming intrusive thoughts telling me to absolutely obliterate every single unlucky orange sphere that I come across.
Continue reading
Good evening Kenyon heathens. Sydney and Brooke here, your favorite housemates and worst nightmares. Just kidding. I just thought that might be a good introduction since it’s Halloween. We are both huge fans of the holiday, which is very clear from the decor currently in our apartment. In case you don’t believe us, we’ve compiled this handy list. Take a look if you dare.
Continue reading
Hello civilians. If you’re reading this article it’s because you are trying to guarantee your family’s safety on this ghoul- and gremlin-filled night. Well I have bad news for you, because there are NO guarantees in life, other than what you can provide for yourself through hard work. That being said, sometimes you need instruction in order to best conquer challenges, which is where I come in. After years of consuming Halloween-themed horror content, I am uniquely qualified to educate you on how to defend yourself from the ever-present threat of marauding pumpkins seeking to infiltrate your home and destroy your family values with rock-and-roll music and free love.
Continue reading
Here’s the majestic view you can stare blissfully while you ease back pretend there’s nothing else you need to be doing.
Well, Fall is here, and as is tradition, so is pumpkin flavoring. Pumpkin flavored everything. Coffee, cake, cookies, water, pumpkins…the list goes on and on. And on. (Until December rolls around, which it’s then immediately replaced with peppermint.) Anyway, despite my prejudice against the sickening cascade of pumpkin that’s about to descend upon us all, it’s Reading Days! So relax, sit out on a porch somewhere before it gets too cold, and watch the leaves change color while you still can. Or before you have to finally get to all that work you’re actively ignoring right now. Here’s a drink to complement the perfect weather and the fact that we (pretend we) don’t have any work to do:
The Kenyon Thrill 