Today, US Weekly told me that One Direction was planning on releasing a new album later this year. I relaxed, thinking I still had time to prepare my fallout shelter before 1D’s newest permutation of noise-poison inevitably caused a nuclear event.
Unfortunately, I was wrong. Just as my mind drifted to my New Apt bunker full of non-perishable food, gas masks and toilet paper, a piercing noise filled my ears.
They released a single. It is called “Fireproof”. Don’t click that link.
Scared? It’s okay – Momma Grace is here to make the monsters go away. Follow my lead and you’ll be 1D-free in no time at all. Continue reading