We Are Drunken Heathens Living in Paradise

It’s not all shiny gyms and stellar plays: we have a dark side. (flickr.com/photos/thegirlone)

You may have already heard that Kenyon topped the Princeton Review’s latest list of colleges with the best athletic facilities, and that we came in at #12 on the best college theatre list. But in addition to being toned and buff thespians, we also made a few other lists that have been less publicized. After masquerading as a high school student and creating a Princeton Review account, The Thrill combed through the rankings to turn up the rest of Kenyon’s glories.

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Breaking News: We Have Awesome Professors

Two students reflect on the sheer brilliance of their professors. (via Kenyon College Special Collections)

You can officially stop worrying about the quality of your undergraduate education. That’s because Kenyon was just named one of the ten colleges with the best professors in the country, according to the lastest Princeton Review ranking. Continue reading

Kenyon Dominating Once Again!

Once again, Kenyon has been recognized for going above and beyond the peons of the collegiate system by being the best at something.  This time, it’s for studying.  Kenyon ranks the highest for study time among college seniors, according to the Washington Post.  The explanation the article gives is that we apparently have small classes and give senior exercises.  Quoted in the article is Provost Nayef Samhat:

“When you have nothing but small classes from the beginning to the end of your career, and you need to participate, there is an expectation that you will be prepared.”

I think we should all raise our afternoon beers and salute our unemployed selves for yet again getting a national shout-out.  I’m a total rankings lover and am giddy at the fact that we are (again) quantifiably awesome.  Not only do we have the best campus (irrefutably) and the best professors (also irrefutably), but now we are also the best at the menial task of studying.  Good work, Kenyon!

Some upper-middle class liberals called us nerds

It seems like just yesterday that we were being ranked by The Huffington Post as one of America’s friendliest colleges. Now the AOL-owned content farm has anointed us one of the top-ten “brainiest” institutions of higher learning in the United States. In addition to Kenyon, the list includes schools such as Brown University (effete), Reed College (high), University of Chicago (pale) and Carleton College (frostbitten).

We are not, however, on HuffPo’s list of “New Ivies.” Which is some bullshit.