Senior Soiree: Expectations vs. Reality


Soiree was on Saturday night, and everyone went into it with preconceived notions passed down by seniors prior. As Summer teaches us, what you expect is never how it really is. Put on The Smiths and see how things really unfolded.*


  • Senior A — Don’t know what I’m gonna wear, but know I’m gonna get wasted.
  • Senior B — Classy and trashy.
  • Senior C — I will find the perfect dress that makes me feel both like an emerging adult and like a child at heart and I will dance the night away.
  • Senior D — “Oh my god I’m so excited but this year is going by so fast! / HELP SATAN FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK SATAN AAAAAAHH I DON’T WANT TO DIE”
  • Senior E — “mayeb i will get blisters on my feet but food and fun and friends are worth it i think”
  • Senior F — Moist and mighty, like Moaning Myrtle’s last stand.
  • Senior G — I expect Soiree to be like an Inaugural Ball: I am Michelle Obama, and Beyonce is serenading me, and being “escorted out” by “campus safety” for “stripping” will never change that.
  • Senior H — OMG. Soiree has all the elements of a popular story. It reeks of all-Americanness, tension and drama. It has romance. Pretty dresses. Dancing. Limos. College. Coming of age. I can’t wait for senior soiree. 
  • Senior I — I will walk into the room and it will be a Hermione-at-the-Yule-Ball-esque moment and everybody will see me in a different light and be like wow, I wish I had never written that mean thing on her Thrill article. [Ed. Hi, Kate. xoxo, Emma.]


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First-Year Expectations Vs. Reality: Sendoff


Ahh the joys and terrors of first Sendoff (via

Sendoff is undoubtedly the best party of the year. After a year of “getting used to” the Kenyon lifestyle, first-years still see the party as a mythic dream waiting to happen. Here is a narrative piece from two of our first-year writers on their first Sendoff experience.


First-Year 1:

  • Circle up Woodstock-esque with everyone as we braid each other’s hair
  • Constant tequila shots and frozen drinks
  • Everyone basking in the sun with flower crowns and bathing suits

First-Year 2:

  • A lot of the alcohol I would consume would not be mine
  • Going to class drunk would be a lot of fun
  • Sleigh Bells would be awesome

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First-Year Halloween: Expectation vs. Reality


Everyone remembers their first Halloween at Kenyon (or distinctly don’t remember it). We build it up throughout the fall as this magical weekend, but we can really never truly tell what Halloween has in store for us. We asked our First-Year interns to write up their expectations for the weekend before they experienced it beforehand, and then write about it after-the-fact. Check out some of their thoughts on Kenyon’s treasured holiday:

Expectation: Dance with that cute guy from class.

Reality: Run into everyone but him. Eventually see him grabbing a girl’s boob (who was way too tall for him).

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