10 o’Clock List: Gourmet-sounding Foods I’m Convinced Could be Made in a Dorm With a Microwave or Iron

Warning: I am not liable for any dorm fires or inedible food. I haven’t actually *tried* any of these recipes (yet!), but I’ve watched 10 seasons of the Great British Baking Show, so I’ve given myself permission to compose a list of some scrumptious foods for your culinary delight. Please note that you will need a microwave or the iron your parents sent you to school with that will never otherwise be used.

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Festive Jell-O Shot Recipes

alright everybody here’s the deal it’s thursday noon pm and all around me folks are finishing their finals meanwhile I just submitted one final project and had a final exam this morning and an exam yesterday morning and am just now sitting down to write forty pages of a full-length screenplay SO before I switch into aaron sorkin mode I must warm my poor ropey brain back up and to do that I’m gonna spit-ball some festive jell-o shot recipes or really jell-o shot concepts because how the fuck do you even make jell-o anyways?

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The Friday Kethcup


Ketchup is, of course, a tomato-based sauce commonly used to compliment various dishes, especially in American cuisine. But do you know how its made? Well I’m going to tell you. You take tomatoes, sugar, vinegar, salt, spices, onion, and garlic. The more ketchup you want to make, the more ingredients you use. You take the tomatoes and put them in a bowl, then put that bowl in the microwave. Turn the microwave on and melt the tomatoes. This makes the tomatoes into tomato liquid. Then you take the bowl out of the microwave and put all the other ingredients in. Shake the bowl up and down without a cover to mix everything up. After that, you’re almost done. Take your feet and step in the bowl to squish everything together. Don’t wash your feet first. When your feet are totally covered with the mixture, then you’re done. Wipe the stuff off your feet and put it in a bottle. That’s ketchup. Throw anything left in the bowl away because that’s not ketchup. You’ve now made ketchup. It’s the Friday Ketchup.
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Weekend Drink: The Blackout

Wasn't this fun?

Wasn’t this fun?

To all our of-age readers…

The power’s back on, but you can recapture the pitch-black magic of last night with this recipe.

Track down the following ingredients:

  • 1/2 oz. gin
  • 1/2 oz. blackberry brandy
  • 1/4 oz. lime juice
  • 1/4 oz. sugar syrup

Shake ingredients and strain into a shot glass. Enjoy responsibly (don’t black out while you Blackout post-blackout).