10 o’clock list: Sexiest Patches of Ice on Campus

Who doesn’t love February? The bitter cold, the cabin fever, the familiar reminder that love is fleeting and death is eternal: it simply screams fun*. But my favorite hobby this time of year (besides licking metal poles with one of my numerous tongues) is finding the sultriest lil’ ice rink on campus. Fellow ice aficionados, you may not want to read this in public as it has been known to induce excessive drooling and/or impromptu renditions of the dance from “Happy Feet”. Here are the sexiest patches of ice on campus:

1) Patch of Ice by Storer

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Soooo slippery. Am I falling in love or just falling down because of the ice I am walking on?

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Romantic Dorm Dinner: Valentine’s Edition

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February is upon us, and we all know that means it’s almost time to celebrate the pulsating muscle inside us all: the yak human heart. Yes, it is the season of seduction. Allure. Romance. And as someone who’s participated in a mutual mouth touch at least 0.268 times, I am fully qualified to walk you through the steps of having the sultriest evening of your life without having to leave campus. Strap yourselves in, kiddos, because you’re about to take the love journey of a lifetime.

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How to Respond to Tinder Messages: A Few Methods

In our fast paced modern world, it seems like everything has gone to the cyber realm, even dating. There are a lot of hip apps out there to find you your special someone, but without a doubt Tinder is one of the heavy hitters. A hopeless romantic, I found myself drawn to its addictively easy to navigate interface, navigating between faces for hours on end. When it came to the messaging part, however, I found that I had a lot to learn. Here are a couple of methods I employed during my first foray into the world of Tinder, at the beginning of summer break.

Method #1: Be direct.

Direct approach in action

Direct approach in action

This match and I chose the same approach, and while I would rate this approach as positive, in that it was efficient and unambiguous, I would also say it was kind of a negative, as it did not result in a further romance. Overall neutral, I suppose. Continue reading

Kosmo Tips: A Kenyon Kid’s Guide to Sex and Romance

Mmm. Heteronormativity. (via cosmopolitan.com)

Mmm. Heteronormativity. (via cosmopolitan.com)

Let’s be real for a second — Cosmopolitan magazine knows nothing about realistic college sexuality. I mean, a mango blowjob? Come on. When’s the last time you saw a mango around here, much less a willing penis? We here at The Thrill have decided to take a stab at spicing up Kenyon’s sex scene (pun intended) in ways that effectively utilize our picturesque yet surprisingly barren hilltop environment. Step aside, Kama Sutra.

The Oral Report:

  • Sensually eat a Wiggin Street cinnamon crunch bagel off of his ding-a-ling. Nothing will arouse him more than seeing you lick awkward chunks of cinnamon sugar and melted butter off of your chapped winter lips.

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