Frances Sutton cowrote this post with S. Ryan Kaye.

Hey, y’all — remember middle school? I sure as hell do; that was the peak of my popularity … my glory days, if you will.  I ran Charles E. Brown Middle School (yes, I know, Charlie Brown — got it, heard it, shut up).  This week, my comrade Frances Sutton (the Suttonator) and I will bring you the top songs you will be nostalgic for in 10 years but you don’t currently listen to because they’re not retro yet because you are a hipster douche, a.k.a. nostalgia-bomb songs.  In the interest of time, and interest, we will describe each song in 5 words.

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