Now, More Than Ever, We Must Get Fucked Up on Halloween

It has been a difficult year.

Consider all that has happened. Actually, don’t, it’s upsetting. Remember the impeachment? Yeesh. Remember Kobe? FUCK. Let’s not talk about it.

We still have two months left of 2020, most of which will surely be spent dealing with the fallout of the 2020 election (you’re kidding yourself if you think that hellrodeo will be settled on Tuesday night). And we still have to get through almost half of a semester that is probably––and I’m going out on a limb here–– not our best ever with Kenyon College. 

So what can we hold onto, at this moment when the world threatens to fly off of its hinges?


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Romaine Calm! (Kenyon vs. the Romaine Lettuce Epidemic)

Romaine 1.png

You may or may not have heard about the recent romaine lettuce epidemic. The CDC has publicly stated multiple times that we do our best NOT to consume the Big Leaves until further notice. But what are the reasons behind this proclamation? What has happened to our lettuce? Who is destroying the sanctity of these vibrant emerald staples of American society? All this and more in my BIG LETTUCE CONSPIRACY THEORY INVESTIGATION.

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The Buddy System: Crozier’s Got Your Back!


ALWAYS! ~via

Hey, Kenyon! In light of recent events, a lot of students have expressed feelings of fear and discomfort traveling into Mount Vernon/the Knox County area alone, as well as walking around campus at night. Crozier got wind of this and has decided to set up a Buddy System! Their goal is to ensure the safety and comfort of anyone who might feel uncomfortable going places by themselves. In other words, they’re going to make sure we all have someone to swim with if need be! Thanks, Crozier!

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PSA: Wine and Weed Can Knock You the Hulk Out

image via goodreads saving ur dang life via the Thrill

Yeah, I know. You’ve had Beer & Sex, and you, like me and every other member of the Kenyon student body, went to every meeting, memorized everything your Beer & Sex advisors said, and have ever since then been living a responsible and uneventful life, especially in regards to substances. That’s super great and I’m real proud of us. Continue reading