As you know, I am a biologist. As a result, I am all about science. That’s why, before I get into the meat of this catchup (which is chicken breast, because according to science, it is full of protein and makes us think of God’s gift to us all — human breasts), I want to address the question that’s been on the minds of biologists, philosophers, and Chris Raffa for centuries: Are women funny? I know what you’re thinking. “I can’t believe you’re buying so heavily into the gender binary, Mia. Come on.” I know that you’re also thinking about something else. “Damn. Mia is funny and ~attractive~.” Moreover, I know that you are wondering why my ex dumped me. All these questions and concerns are being addressed by scientists like me. For now my response comes in the form a question: How was your weekend?
“I prepared for doomsday.”