Bad Kenyon Fanfic Chapter 1/?

Sean Decatur Adopted Me??!?!?!? (Featuring The Kenyon Lords Ice Hockey Team, Zayn Malik, and Mr. Krabs)

Chapter One:

It started out like any other morning. I woke up in my Norton dingle and put my totally drab brown hair into a messy bun. I start to put mascara on my eyes, which are the color of Peirce beef stroganoff, which I find kind of unsettling since I am vegan. Anyway, I stick in my polymer clay earrings, grab my kanken, and head out the door.

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A Kenyon Prophecy


So glad I finally got the opportunity to show off my vision board.

We all know the prophecy of Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom: born on the same day to two sets of wizarding parents, either one of them could have been the chosen one. But did you know that another prophecy was made, one about two young men destined to both be presidents? Here is the story: Continue reading

How To Pronounce: “Sean Decatur”

full time educator/leader/father/community member/male model/wearer of what appears to be a white linen blazer??? (someone please get back to me with the scoop on what kind of fabric that is).jpg [via]

Considering this is such a prolific week for prospie visits, we figured we would go ahead and throw all the visitors on campus another bone this week and teach them how to pronounce the name of the most important man on campus: the college’s own head honcho, President Sean Decatur. Listen closely, and take notes if you have to: if you’re lucky, you and your family may get the chance to meet him this weekend!

Have a Kenyon or Gambier-related word you’re not sure how to pronounce? Email us at with suggestions!

A Week of Allstu: One Group’s Journey Through a Week of Campus Events

One highlight of the week was a cancelled BFEC hike. Instead of retreating, Rochelle and Cusick ended up going on a self-guided hike through the BFEC. (Photo via Wikipedia Commons)

How many Allstu emails do you delete in a week? Probably too many. When first-year Mary Sawyer realized she was deleting more emails than she kept, she was unhappy. “I came to college thinking I was going to do a lot, and then by week two, if I saw an allstu I deleted that.” It was then that she and a group of friends decided to do the impossible: go to every event advertised by email for one week.

The idea started as a joke, when Henry Uhrik ’18 wondered “how many friends we’d make if we went to all of them,” but quickly formulated as a scheme that Uhrik, and Sawyer, along with first-years Ramsey Brown, Alice Cusick, Jenna Rochelle, and Austin Smith would take part in. Using Google Drive, the group created a schematic of over fifty events that they would attend, including everything from Kickboxing at the KAC to “Writing Mussolini: II Duce’s American Biographies on Paper and Screen, 1922-1936.” Continue reading

Kenyon and Denison Presidents’ Tweets Hint at Age-Old Rivalry


Our hopes lay with you. But no pressure. (via

Capulet or Montague? Hatfield or McCoy? Coke or Pepsi?

Kenyon or Denison?

As the NCAADIII Swimming and Diving Championships draw near, it is time to, once again, return to the age old question of who will be victorious in the watery tournament. On March 16, Kenyon President Sean Decatur and Denison President Adam Weinberg exchanged some playful banter about the upcoming event on Twitter. Continue reading