The Thrill is happy to feature narratives written by the Kenyon community. To submit a piece of writing, please look at our guidelines here. This submission is by an anonymous contributor.
WARNING: This piece includes descriptions of self-harm, depression, bullying and suicide which may be triggering to some individuals.
The first time was an accident. I was at a chemistry review session the second week of sophomore year, and I didn’t even know I had been cut until I looked down and saw the blood on my arm. I waited for the pain, but the thing about this cut was that it didn’t hurt… it actually felt good. I had recently been diagnosed with depression, and I felt as though I were walking around with a ten pound weight on my chest, unable to speak, on the verge of crying at every moment. At that review session, looking at the blood, I realized that the weight had shifted just a little, and I took an easier breath than I had for the past month.