The Thrill’s Senior Year Bucket List

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It’s senior year and we’ve all swam in the Kokosing, smoked at sunset point, made out at sunset point, gotten too drunk at Send Off and dreamed of becoming a great chef, despite being a rat in an intensely rodent-phobic profession, moved to Paris to follow this dream on the advice of a rotund, french acid flashback, and with the help of a weak-ass garbage boy as our beard, worked in the kitchen, and eventually got the chance to prove our culinary abilities to a daddy long-leg lookin’ food critic, who turns out to have been bullied as a child and just needed some squash to feel better. 

But again, it’s senior year and we have to find something new to do to pass the time before we kick the bucket, and finally descend from this hill that has looked more and more like a collection of dentist’s offices since we’ve gotten here.

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10 o’clock list: 5 Signs That You’re Definitely Not Going to Pass Comps

CompsMy yes, Comps. Maybe they’ve happened for you, maybe you’ve got a little time, maybe they’re coming right up. We all have to take them, most of us will pass, some of us won’t. If you think you may be cruising for a spot among the unlucky few, you may want to consult this handy little checklist. Chances are it will either entirely allay or horribly amplify your fears. Enjoy!

1.  Your nerves are out of control:

Your hands have started shaking so vigorously that you are no longer capable of writing, typing or even thinking about anything other than the shaking of your hands. The shaking has started to spread to your arms, followed by your trunk, going to your neck and legs, ending in the un-ignorable vibration of your brain. The trembles cause the boundless misery sweat to spray off your body, like water coming off a dog after a pleasant trip to the lake. If you’ve made it to this point, chances are you’re in no state to study for or take comps, let alone pass. Go to the doctor. Seek medication.

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Uphill/Downhill: Kenyon Love and Winter

Well it’s hump day again, this week kind of feels like it’s flying by.

Uphill: Kenyon Love — While Add/Drink week is mostly over, we are still in the honeymoon period of easy classes and we are still thankful to be back for another semester on this most amazing campus. Not to get too second semester Senior on you, but I missed each and every one of you over break and can’t wait to spend another semester of communal learning and debauchery with you all. Welcome back everyone!

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Things Seniors Surprisingly Haven’t Figured Out

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Seriously though.

On Friday, we will officially have one semester left in college. We are at threat level midnight right now and I could not be more terrified. How the hell am I supposed to find a job when I can’t even say that I’ve fully figured out Kenyon yet? I’ve got a semester left, and while yes I have learned a lot, I still don’t know a surprising amount. I can’t do my taxes. I don’t know which of my shirts need to be washed in cold water (I have five shrunken sweaters to prove that one). Above all, after four years I’m not sure I even know what justice is even though I’ve been questing for it pretty much my entire time here.

Good news is, we are way way ahead of the first years. Those kids don’t know anything about anything (even though they are the future of Kenyon and we are just humble Seniors who remember when Papa John’s could deliver to your door). It’s time we really widened the gap and wised up on a couple of things.

Here are a few of the items, rules, common practices that even the Seniors still haven’t figured out yet:

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